I am now more than half way through my first week back at West Liberty University. I am now only taking classes corresponding to my major or minor. I thought that this would give me some sense of relief from the overwhelming stress that I usually experience during the school year. However, I have had no such luck. I have barely been given any assignments thus far and already I am feeling myself caught in the undertow.
I think for many people, college is merely a mental challenge. I, on the other hand, have no problem keeping up with the material or scoring good grades on exams. The thing that makes college a challenge for me is the futility of it all. Luckily, I have been able to receive a full scholarship, but nonetheless, I still sit idly by year after year and watch hundreds of dollars disappear along with countless hours of my life. I just cannot seem to justify this to myself. Yet, I allow it to continue for lack of a better alternative.
I believe for truly intelligent students college can be emotionally exhausting. It is quite difficult to keep yourself interested in something that you feel is a scam and is not really aiding your development. There is no guarantee that a college degree will get me a job and certainly no guarantee that I will be happy with a job in my field even if I do get one. I mean, how are we supposed to know what type of job that we want to have for the rest of our lives straight out of high school? I don’t even know all of the jobs that are available, let alone what it would be like to work at any of them. Even in the best case scenario, college will hand me straight into the working world where I will toil the majority of my life away for just a bit more money than it takes to merely survive. I don’t want that. It is a devastating idea.
But what else am I supposed to do? I don’t have enough faith in my ability in anything else to give up a full scholarship to pursue. I don’t even have time to consider any alternatives because my college classes take up most of my time and energy. I feel as though I am trapped in a raging river heading toward a future that I cannot bear. There must be something better I could be doing with my precious youth. I don’t want to wake up one day full of regret, but what can I do?
Somedays I drown in the thought that I have nothing left to look forward to in my life and that my best days are now behind me. I wish that this country’s education system would have given me more of a chance. I have always felt as though I had something special to offer the world, but maybe I will never discover what that is.
Let me know what your college experience was/is like. How do you deal with such hopeless thoughts? I would gladly accept any ideas or advice.
Stay strong, sweet ones. ❤
Protect the Innocent 
I had similar thoughts when I was in undergrad many moons ago, though mine were the product of my desire to do post-graduate work in law. You’re facing different challenges of increasing numbers of people with Bachelor’s degrees and a job market still hit hard by the Great Recession. On top of all of this, there’s the frustration of taking classes you don’t want to take but have to in order to claim your degree.
However, your best days are not behind you.
I don’t know how many years you have left in college, but they will be dear. Some classes may seem like a waste; try to comb your course catalog for more classes that seem like they are at least topically interesting. Your interests here on this blog indicate you like to deal with ethics regarding animals, personal growth, being vegan, just to name a few. Therefore if you can take classes in philosophy, ethics, contemporary moral issues, nutrition, animal rights, culinary arts, psychology, and other courses related to these.
If you have electives left, go for some writing or art classes. It’s always welcome to get a new perspective on expressing one’s self in art. Because you are intelligent and well-spoken, think of college as a buffet of knowledge. See if there are more ways to explore fields of study you want to pursue. Not all your courses will be gems, but by searching you can find a diamond in that rough.
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