I feel somewhat uncomfortable even writing about this since I have yet to be diagnosed. However after randomly stumbling across a video about how Asperger’s and autism spectrum disorders present in women a few years ago, I have been becoming more and more certain that I am one of these women. I would really like to start therapy and have an actual assessment done so I can be formally diagnosed.
You may wonder why on earth anyone would want to be diagnosed with autism. For me it has been a great relief to learn more and more about the symptoms and how I identify with them. I have always felt as though there was something deeply wrong with me. Until a few years ago, I chalked most of it up to social anxiety. Yet even after starting medication which has improved social situations for me immensely, I still have never really felt like I’m the same as other people.
Knowing that this could be an explanation for the way I’ve felt my entire life is very comforting somehow. I don’t feel like I have to blame myself anymore. My brain just doesn’t work the same and that isn’t my fault. I hope that one day soon I can work up the courage to finally see a therapist and find out for sure.