It seems as I get older, my anxiety only becomes more intense. Perhaps I am just noticing it more than I did as a child, because back then I didn’t really have a name for it. Either way I am concerned. If it were only to stay at this level, I could probably handle it. But I fear it will continue to escalate.
I am constantly getting frustrated with myself. I want my life to change. I genuinely think I know what to do in order to be as happy as possible. Yet even the thought of waking up tomorrow and making any of those changes is absolutely petrifying. I am too afraid of losing control if I change my routine. It’s just absurd though because I don’t like the way things are going. I’m clearly already not in control. I know I could make my life better, yet I’m afraid to.
I wonder if this is something that everyone struggles with. Is it really all my anxiety that is holding me back? Maybe I am just using it as a convenient excuse. Telling myself I am unable because of mental illness, that if only I were normal I could have the life I dream of. I know I desperately need to start therapy, but I’m too afraid to do that too!
The questions you ask are questions we all ask ourselves, and like us only you know the answer. Great post to cause us to self reflect.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m glad you enjoyed reading it. Here’s hoping we all find the answers soon. (:
LikeLiked by 1 person