For the last few months, my yoga practice has been feeling stagnant. As a result of that stagnation my yoga teaching is beginning to suffer as well. I’ve also been going through a very tumultuous time mentally which hasn’t helped. I had been so excited for the class I planned for my students this morning. However, I felt my instruction was lackluster and becoming almost robotically mindless. Whether it was just my imagination I can’t say, but my students seems to pick up on the vibe I brought with me to class today. I don’t feel that they enjoyed themselves very much.
I feel like I am held to a very high standard as a yoga teacher. Whether it is the perception of the general public or just my perception, it has still been hard to deal with. I feel I fall so far short of the ideal I’m trying to live up too. And this lack of confidence bleeds into my teaching. Not only that, while I look online for class inspiration, I am bombarded with images and videos of practices far more advanced than my own. Which is exciting, but also disheartening.
At the studio where I teach, the students are generally older and so I can’t make my classes very intense. I also don’t have time throughout the week to go to other classes or even follow along with more advanced flows online like I used to. I have come so far in my personal practice. I am now able to do things with my body I never imagined possible. However, now that I’ve gotten farther than I thought I ever would, it’s hard to keep my practice progressing. I’ve become complacent with where I am now. Yet I still want to push my body and my practice to discover new heights. Perhaps I’ve gone as far as I am able to on my own at this point. It would be nice to find someone to guide me from here.
I wonder if other yogis feel or have felt this way before. I think part of me thought that after becoming certified that I would be able to give myself all the answers. But that certainly isn’t the case. I still feel lost and unsure of myself in my practice as well as my life. Our practice always seems to reflect our life, doesn’t it? I am at a loss as to how to overcome the roadblocks in both. And part of the reason I am unable to resolve either seems to be my unwillingness to face things head on. I know that is the only way that I’ll ever be able to keep moving forward in my practice and my life as well. Yet I just want to stay safe inside my shell for a little while longer. I wonder if that’s okay or if it’s actually more of a danger to stay here.