I mentioned in another post that I may from time to time share my dreams with you on here. I don’t have anything I’d particularly like to write about today, but I did have a very unsettling, gripping dream. So I thought I might as well share it. Besides writing it out right after I wake up always helps me to remember it better.
In this dream last night I was in some kind of alternate universe. I and some other people were being pursued across this desolate wasteland of a world. I can’t really remember what was going to happen to us if we were caught. The beginnings of this dream are getting blurrier by the moment I’m afraid. I do remember strangely being in the point of view of someone other than myself crawling through very narrow passageways behind walls. They discovered a meth stash. Apparently other people were using these passageways. Then a rat chased them out.
The part that remains crystal clear is a conversation I had with someone I didn’t know. I believe they were once on the side of the people pursuing us. I was talking to them about a boy I used to love. It seemed like he was a main player on the side of the pursuers. He had gone completely insane. I remember asking what had happened to his girlfriend and their son. I was told that he had killed them both the day he went mad. That was also the day when this whole post-apocalyptic nightmare began.
I remember feeling bad for him. I thought the girlfriend deserved it for manipulating him, but I felt bad for the baby who had obviously been innocent. I also felt bad for the boy I loved. I felt bad that he had come to this.
I was resting my head on the shoulder of the person I was talking to. He had his arm around me loosely. I told him how hard it was that I had been rejected in favor of this woman who eventually drove him to insanity. This woman that took advantage of him, latched onto him, sucked his life from him like a leech. I told him about how small that made me feel. Still makes me feel. That I wasn’t good enough. I was even less desirable than someone like that.
I guess I just woke up after that. It has been quite a while since that boy has been a part of my dreams. My subconscious must still be suffering from all the grief he’s caused me. I wonder if I’ll ever stop dreaming of him.