I have always considered myself a highly intelligent person. It is one of the only things that I am proud of. I can feel extremely threatened when this aspect of myself is called into question. Until very recently in life however, I didn’t consider that there are different types of intelligence.
I have a friend whom I believe to be very smart. Yet she never did well in school, and there are some things she’s done or said that normally I would consider quite dumb or foolish. Eventually I realized that while this friend may not be “book smart” she has a high level of emotional intelligence. This explanation satisfied me, and I didn’t think much more about it until years after this realization.
When I ask myself the question “Do I have a high emotional intelligence,” the answer is a resounding “no.” The answer isn’t surprising to me as I’ve never been very good with people or handling my own emotions. I was surprised, however, that I’d never even thought to ask myself the question before.
I was thinking about this deficit a lot today. So I decided to take an emotional intelligence test on Psychology Today’s website. Even as I was going through the questions, I could tell I was not doing very well. My result at the end was only 57 out of 100. A grade I never would have received in school. Unfortunately you had to pay to learn anymore details. But it was enough to confirm my suspicions about myself.
In my opinion, this is yet another piece of evidence that I am on the autistic spectrum. It is hard for me to admit to myself that I have this huge lack of knowledge and understanding. I cannot believe I have gone my entire life without realizing this. Not only that, but I have no idea what I can really do about it. Perhaps this is something a therapist would be able to help me work on somehow.
I suppose at least now I know and can take this into consideration as I go about my life. As someone who has been called a “know-it-all,” on more than one occasion, it is quite humbling to discover this handicap. I hope that in the future I will be able to improve in this area.
Protect the Innocent 
Rachel, your blog will soon be added to our Actually Autistic Blogs List (https://anautismobserver.wordpress.com/). Please click here (or on the “How do you want your blog listed?” link at the top of that site) to customize your blog’s description on the list (or to decline).
Thank you.
Judy (An Autism Observer)
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Thank you so much for including me!
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You’re welcome, and thanks for writing your blog. The list wouldn’t exist without bloggers like you.
I received your form and will respond by email soon.
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Please ignore or delete this comment. I’m only leaving it because WordPress is misbehaving.
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I understand it must be difficult to realise that you have been unaware of this gap in your knowledge for a while… but it’s great! you are now aware of this deficiency in your intelligence and can apply yourself to learning and understanding more about it. Thanks for sharing your story.
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Thank you. It has definitely been helpful just to recognize it. (:
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