there is so much happiness
hidden in images of the past
looking back it feels so perfect
all uncertainty long since settled
why is it easier to love
this ghost of myself
and not the girl
that stands before me now
somehow my reflection
feels more like a stranger
than the pictures I have
of who I once was
compassion swells in my heart
when I remember that old self
I hold her to me, flaws and all
and feel nothing but tenderness
I guess it's always been easier for me
to love what is long gone
than to cherish the quivering truth
of what's before me
my memory has edited and cropped everything
down to it's essential goodness
while my anxiety projects only
unpleasant possibilities ahead
the past is the only place I feel safe
because it has already happened
nothing can surprise me or cause me pain
now that it's permanently printed in time
the present and the future
are stained with uncertainty
looking back it's easy to forget
that I carried it with me back then
still there is comfort in knowing
despite all the mistakes made
nothing can take those trailing years
away from me now
Protect the Innocent 