Secret Summer

Summer Saturdays by the waterfront
the Festival of India in Wheeling, WV
streaming colors of elaborate scarves
the wafting fragrance of warm spices

Celebrating ancient cultures with old friends
buying raw crystals from a precious grey woman
suddenly handed prayer beads and a mantra
pleasantly trapped in impromptu meditation

Slipping away after a free meal of fresh curry
a few secret shots behind the door of a bathroom stall
just a little liquid courage to quiet evening anxiety
before blending back into the smiling crowd

Reckless abandon and eager enthusiasm
for mind altering substances at every moment
used to make me feel exciting, wild, and interesting
but as I near 30 it's starting to feel shameful instead

Hoping no one notices my enhanced mood
wondering at these strange things I do
even more curious to know what private lives
other people lead when no one is looking

Shocked at the idea of all the things
that could be hiding behind bright eyes
disturbed by the notion that I'll never
really know another person completely