Youth slips away
in a slow fade to black
the frightening fury
of time on fast forward
No longer represented
by the image in the mirror
even worse to wonder
who might be there tomorrow
Aging gracefully is the ideal
but fear remains ever present
in the deepening grooves
betraying the body's slow decay
Tumbling forward into an unknown future
slowly gaining speed in the inevitable
spiral towards the other side or maybe
just the ultimate and final ending
There are few things more terrifying
than uncontrollable time
closing in on a life that
can't imagine being over
Hoping this fear breaks like a fever
before I face that last farewell
I hope someday I gain a wisdom
that will soothe me in my descent
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This is beautiful. I’m in my mid-40s and the changes I’ve always thought I’d embrace about my body are now causing me a new kind of fear. It’s as if I’m racing a clock to get things done—which was the truth all along, but now it feels almost like I can hear it chiming in the trees (Stranger Things??) I adore the line “uncontrollable time”—it’s what it feels like at times. The hands on the clock move so much faster the older we get.
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I’m glad you liked it! I’m only 28, but I was never someone who was excited to get older even as a young child. I really wanted to stay 18 forever. It’s been ten years since then and it really crushes me more every day. I feel it’s especially scary as a women, because I know how much society devalues women as they age. The way time really does seem to more faster and faster each year is not helping. Hopefully one day it will feel okay and it’ll be easier to let go and just flow forward into the older stages of life. ❤
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