Different Shades of Loneliness

I don't know which is worse
to be truly and utterly alone
or to be alone with someone
who doesn't even see you

Is it really better to have a warm body
that can never bare witness to your soul
than to be emotionally and physically on your own
in this over-populated, under-connected world

there is a sickening angst that curdles inside
bitterness and resentment grow in the shadows
where the light of being known never touches
sometimes disregard stings worse than rejection

A fiery desperation to be acknowledged
the falling sensation of a love without foundation
an inner self left writhing under skin-crawling falsity
rising in rebellion against half-hearted affection

Disgust and denial say this cannot be salvaged
but fear leaves me lingering in the decaying doorway
memories of what I once thought this might become
daggers that flare up passion in a desolate heart

Nothing could be worse than the violence of indifference
stepping out from a shelter that blocks all possibility of sun
to submit myself to the endlessly overcast, unprotected sky
not knowing if storms will come or the sun will rise
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4 thoughts on “Different Shades of Loneliness

  1. When you say “I don’t know which is worse to be truly and utterly alone or to be alone with someone who doesn’t even see you” you’re describing what’s known as a “false dichotomy”, which is a logical fallacy that involves presenting two opposing facts, views, or options as though they were the only possibilities. I don’t know whether you’re speaking to be heard (I hear you) or seeking advice, but on the off-chance that it’s the latter I’d say that you should maybe investigate other possibilities in terms of where you invest your care.
    Kindness – Robert.

    Liked by 1 person

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