I live for the moments
when my heart bursts open
tiny arms of loving energy
extending toward everything
Shimmering expectations
of receiving returned affection
a few moments of being unafraid
of all the other alternatives
This heart of mine is over-sensitive
the slightest suggestion of disinterest
or the mere perception of rejection
and it slams closed with a violent shudder
The sharp sting of this sudden reversal
sends me spiraling into solitary self-doubt
the glue of fear holds me fast in imagined isolation
and I vow to stay closed, to stay safe, forever
Over time the mere sensation of opening
is tinged with a hesitant terror
pre-emptive recoil from possibilities
that have not yet come to pass
The bravery it takes to stay open
is something I strive to obtain
teach me to invite in even pain and
train my tender heart to be strong
I long to feel the boundless love
I know is harbored somewhere within
the deep knowing and the certainty of oneness
that transcends even fear