Everything At Once

Why do I only identify with
the worst parts of me?
there is nothing more inherent
in my fear, exhaustion, or anger
than in my energized, inspired, charisma

My compassion and joy
seem to me less real than
my anxiety and cruelty
for some strange reason
I can't quite understand

Why is it so much easier
to internalize all of my mistakes
than to take credit for
the things I've accomplished
throughout my life

As if any success was an accident
but all of my failures, a reflection
of who I truly am deep down
I'm tired of denying the aspects of myself
that I can admire

Is it so impossible to accept
that I can be magnificent and flawed
at the same time?
my mysterious soul knows
it can be everything at once