I Want To Do Everything, and Nothing

Maybe I should figure out how to make a five year plan and do it. Every time I start to get excited about any idea or goal, I immediately become overwhelmed by all of the dozens (maybe even hundreds?) of other things that I want to pursue in life. I don’t know how anyone is able to keep things organized in their brains enough to accomplish anything at all. There are just so many completely unrelated directions I want my life to go in. I don’t have even half the time for all of the hobbies and skills I’d like to devote myself to. None of them seems more important or “right” than another, so it’s also impossible to settle on just one and go for it.

I’ll get an initial burst of motivation and excitement to do “something” but then just spend days ruminating on which “something” I should pick. Eventually I’ve exhausted myself just trying to choose and getting upset that I can’t do it all, and I end up doing nothing. I wish I could at the very least let myself be content just existing if that’s all I’ll realistically ever be able to do. I’m tired of feeling so disappointed in myself for wasting all the potential I feel I could have if I could just focus. The only thing I do seem able to focus on consistently is all of my flaws and shortcomings. My brain is just such a tangled mess and it’s strangling all the life out of me constantly. I’m so tired.