A Poem

An understanding that cannot be uttered
a sliver of light that shines through
the black gossamer ribbon
of muddled memories and misgiving
that dangle limply from the rafters of ribcages

Fearing the failure of unfounded feelings
that gather and disperse indiscriminately
searching for some guarantee 
or at least a stronger container to prevent
the restless flapping of tattered wings

A whimsical collection of winding words
that fall worthless to the bleached wood
of the dusted, decaying floorboards
amongst fumbling feet
frantic to compile them once again

Don't be afraid of the things unspoken
the truth cannot remain hidden much longer
combustion and chaos will surely ensue
all in good time
be patient

Spill

My head is full of floating thoughts
that expand and break apart 
they cloud my heart and contract my lungs
endlessly vibrating in and out of awareness

My head is full, but more flows in
a constant stream of stressful flurries 
piling up inside my mind 
getting denser and heavier each day

It feels as though I will surely crack open
and spill this jumbled mess upon the pavement
or perhaps be flattened under the weight
of everything I've left undone

It's hard to focus while restitching seams in my skull
trying to keep it all together as I'm pulled forward
into a future waiting to pour even more
liquid lists through my shaking fingers

It's all too much, too fast, too busy
the urgency of each moment
tugging at me from all sides
knowing it cannot all be done

Impossible to decide the next step
I want my heart to open like a faucet
and release all this pressure inside 
to spill and spill until I am empty

Until I can hold that blissful space
and replace my lists with trust
a trust without form, just feeling
a brave surrender of the spirit

Equanimity

Finding the fortitude
to simply surrender
Nodding in acknowledgement 
toward all that's disconcerting
Breathing into the tight spaces
of not only our bodies
but of our minds as well

Saving space for the unknown
bowing down to the bigger picture
that we cannot yet see
humbly accepting
a limited perspective
of this life

Noting our indignation
as it arises in opposition to adversity
and asking ourselves:
What is this?
Do I really know what's best?
Can I release my opinions 
and embrace what is?

Learning that our white knuckled grip
is doing us no favors 
practicing unclenching our grasp
on the way things "should" be
the way others should act
should think
should be

Having the humility to say:
I don't know
Having enough trust to say:
And that's okay
Cultivating curiosity
in place of judgement 
Letting go

Holding Space

Empty spaces
are uncomfortable
we fidget and fret
to find a fast fill
consumed 
by constant consumption

Holding space
seems impossible
but we need room to breath
room to expand
room for change
room for transformation

Standing in that emptiness
is the only way forward
otherwise opportunity
will continue to pass us by
as we have no where
for it to reside

Photo by Paula Schmidt on Pexels.com