There is a healing, humming hush that rustles through the tall grass on long walks along the littered roadside The rising vibration of returning life as we circle back toward the outstretched arms of the sun that has kept us waiting with held breath Bringing inspiration that flows in with the warm air through the open window's billowing white curtains lifting old dust motes out of corners and into the light This soft atmosphere makes it easy to forgive and gently set aside the harsh bleak days of December making space for the fresh growth of wonder and wildflowers
happiness
It’s Alright Now
Everything will be alright everything that you are whispers these ribbons of truth to secure me suspended safely above fear Everything will be alright every soft exhale assures me a hum of energy that emanates through your piercing gaze Everything will be alright everything that I am believes you when you quell my trembling with one firm embrace Everything will be alright finally I have found my rest this soft feather bed of emotion the love that I feel for you
Revival
Amateur attempts to catch the sky in canvas guide this hand that quivers and give it grace a soul set to pivot around one primrose point shake the frost from these lashes, let me rise Calls of the killdeer, center cracking open influx of warm energy that melts solid metal safety secured between jagged teeth, dripping jaws fine granules that spread, filling up my lungs with sugar How can this gift of a crystal dawn ever be repaid? submerged in the thick moisture of morning dew all I can offer is every second of every day and the insufficient sum of myself
Unfamiliar Happiness
I don't know what to do with happiness it lies limp within my marble arms as I stare without understanding I set it up against the wall try to decide where it should go while my eyes keep darting anxiously Over toward the dark corners of the room I've come to rest in, have made my home inside being afraid has become part of my flesh Fear fungus that fills up my lungs there is no space left for peace and pleasure trying to choke down inhales of sweet perfume I thought enjoyment was supposed to come easily not make my skin crawl with discomfort and unease It's going to take great effort to retrain this brain To feel safe inside the light of your love to unwind inside the warm tide pools I've finally found teaching myself to distrust my own false signals is a struggle
Look Up
Spring beginnings are bittersweet a rotting smell rises with the heat roadside carcass baked in sun kept from hoping for what's to come Backward glances, Jack Frost's shadow the direction you face is where you'll go the cruelty of youth is turning away from sorrow, sickness, and slow decay Life's still blooming, the sun persists the trees don't wonder what they've missed each breeze carries the powder of new pollen raindrops don't resist where they've fallen
Spring Respite
The full-bodied scent of fresh cut grass starts to lighten the heavy eyelids of this child's soul that has lied slumbering in frost shaking snowflakes from thick lashes cells expanding as the air heats up Everything tastes better in summer soft air, sweet fruit, and salty skin hearts peel open suddenly in the sunlight like the fresh blossoms spilling pollen tender petals ready to receive the sky Colorful carousel of familiar sensations the day's reluctant, yet sensual surrender as the night descends in a slow simmer igniting the thorny hillsides into whispers the hushed murmur of a million voices Sleep comes easier when the sun has returned store away those sacred escapes somewhere safe Bright Eyes songs and novels by Charles Dickens David Copperfield tucked away beneath pillow cases life supports reserved for when the air grows thin again For now it's easy to breathe more deeply the atmosphere is thick like honey and just as sweet another new life christened with lavender winds wondering how those slinking shadow talons always tore so sharply at untanned skin
Feeling Soft
Everything was soft inside of me again the sunlight pierced my unfurling soul a sudden opening of the vacuum sealed air encircling my swimming, distorted thoughts my heart burst open, there was space to breathe Fragile reflections in water droplets held together by microscopic tension pressing softly into fresh hues of green the sensual humming silence that rises in anticipation of a new dawn Subtly shifting oil painting sky melting through pink and blue clouds I've finally found something worth the fear of being completely swallowed up and reshaped by an unknown hope
Forgotten Fire
Breathtaking passion that burns the throat the very air inside my lungs, ignited land of milk and honey set on fire scorched lips parted in sweet ecstasy Flaming frenzy of forgotten feelings lake of fire lapping at my quivering core open heart undulating and overflowing emotion cascading higher to reach fever pitch A cleansing inferno clearing everything away allowing only this secret heaven to remain soothed to sleep by crackling sounds as I surrender to the flames
Range of Motion
Everyone keeps telling me that I get to make the choice that happiness and peace are only one option away It's frustrating to then find myself in moments that don't seem to offer the possibility of different ways of being and I'm hopelessly overcome with old patterns I've been asking myself why I'm not strong enough to make the right decisions instead I just keep stumbling But I think I finally realized when people say we all have a choice that doesn't mean the choices are limitless or that we all have the same options Sometimes at first your scope is small I still can't choose unconditional compassion when my heart is sealed closed with anger but I can make the decision to be mindful I can witness myself from a few steps off in a way I never was able to before I can get curious about my intention and question my automatic reactions Sometimes I can stay silent and still or even smile as I watch these impulses swiftly rise, then subside and pass by right now the changes I make are subtle Mindfulness is a muscle that with effort will provide a wider range of motion new choices will arise naturally if I am patient and keep practicing
Paradise Lost
It takes so long now to turn back the pages to the time filled with most treasured memories afraid to stop flipping back to them in case they fade afraid to tarnish their edges too much with tears and tender touches from oily fingertips Current joy is caught up and compared to the fiercest feelings of first experiences forever falling short of what I'm hoping to find can I never recapture that electric current of overwhelming raw emotion? Adolescent chemicals cannot be the only reason for the deep, searing pleasures of the past I'm unable to accept the possibility that the container of my truest happiness has already been capped off How tiresome it is to live a life through tiny sips from seasons long since passed unreasonable to hope that they won't run dry that stale taste begins to set in even now as I pull from that deep well each day I only pray that there is a rain still coming to quench this burning thirst in my soul fresh liquid delight to fill up my container something to replace those precious days that now feel like they happened to someone else