Long Walks in Spring

There is a healing, humming hush
that rustles through the tall grass
on long walks along the littered roadside

The rising vibration of returning life
as we circle back toward the outstretched arms
of the sun that has kept us waiting with held breath

Bringing inspiration that flows in with the warm air
through the open window's billowing white curtains
lifting old dust motes out of corners and into the light

This soft atmosphere makes it easy to forgive
and gently set aside the harsh bleak days of December
making space for the fresh growth of wonder and wildflowers

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It’s Alright Now

Everything will be alright
everything that you are whispers
these ribbons of truth to secure me
suspended safely above fear

Everything will be alright
every soft exhale assures me
a hum of energy that emanates
through your piercing gaze

Everything will be alright
everything that I am believes you
when you quell my trembling
with one firm embrace

Everything will be alright
finally I have found my rest
this soft feather bed of emotion
the love that I feel for you

Revival

Amateur attempts to catch the sky in canvas
guide this hand that quivers and give it grace
a soul set to pivot around one primrose point
shake the frost from these lashes, let me rise

Calls of the killdeer, center cracking open
influx of warm energy that melts solid metal
safety secured between jagged teeth, dripping jaws
fine granules that spread, filling up my lungs with sugar

How can this gift of a crystal dawn ever be repaid?
submerged in the thick moisture of morning dew
all I can offer is every second of every day
and the insufficient sum of myself

Unfamiliar Happiness

I don't know what to do with happiness
it lies limp within my marble arms
as I stare without understanding

I set it up against the wall
try to decide where it should go
while my eyes keep darting anxiously

Over toward the dark corners of the room
I've come to rest in, have made my home inside
being afraid has become part of my flesh

Fear fungus that fills up my lungs
there is no space left for peace and pleasure
trying to choke down inhales of sweet perfume

I thought enjoyment was supposed to come easily
not make my skin crawl with discomfort and unease
It's going to take great effort to retrain this brain

To feel safe inside the light of your love
to unwind inside the warm tide pools I've finally found
teaching myself to distrust my own false signals is a struggle

Look Up

Spring beginnings are bittersweet
a rotting smell rises with the heat
roadside carcass baked in sun
kept from hoping for what's to come

Backward glances, Jack Frost's shadow
the direction you face is where you'll go
the cruelty of youth is turning away
from sorrow, sickness, and slow decay

Life's still blooming, the sun persists
the trees don't wonder what they've missed
each breeze carries the powder of new pollen
raindrops don't resist where they've fallen

Spring Respite

The full-bodied scent of fresh cut grass
starts to lighten the heavy eyelids of this
child's soul that has lied slumbering in frost
shaking snowflakes from thick lashes
cells expanding as the air heats up

Everything tastes better in summer
soft air, sweet fruit, and salty skin
hearts peel open suddenly in the sunlight
like the fresh blossoms spilling pollen
tender petals ready to receive the sky

Colorful carousel of familiar sensations
the day's reluctant, yet sensual surrender
as the night descends in a slow simmer
igniting the thorny hillsides into whispers
the hushed murmur of a million voices

Sleep comes easier when the sun has returned
store away those sacred escapes somewhere safe
Bright Eyes songs and novels by Charles Dickens
David Copperfield tucked away beneath pillow cases
life supports reserved for when the air grows thin again

For now it's easy to breathe more deeply
the atmosphere is thick like honey and just as sweet
another new life christened with lavender winds
wondering how those slinking shadow talons
always tore so sharply at untanned skin

Feeling Soft

Everything was soft inside of me again
the sunlight pierced my unfurling soul
a sudden opening of the vacuum sealed air
encircling my swimming, distorted thoughts
my heart burst open, there was space to breathe

Fragile reflections in water droplets
held together by microscopic tension
pressing softly into fresh hues of green
the sensual humming silence that rises
in anticipation of a new dawn

Subtly shifting oil painting sky
melting through pink and blue clouds
I've finally found something worth the fear
of being completely swallowed up
and reshaped by an unknown hope

Forgotten Fire

Breathtaking passion that burns the throat
the very air inside my lungs, ignited
land of milk and honey set on fire
scorched lips parted in sweet ecstasy

Flaming frenzy of forgotten feelings
lake of fire lapping at my quivering core
open heart undulating and overflowing
emotion cascading higher to reach fever pitch

A cleansing inferno clearing everything away
allowing only this secret heaven to remain
soothed to sleep by crackling sounds
as I surrender to the flames 

Range of Motion

Everyone keeps telling me
that I get to make the choice
that happiness and peace
are only one option away

It's frustrating to then find myself
in moments that don't seem to offer
the possibility of different ways of being
and I'm hopelessly overcome with old patterns

I've been asking myself
why I'm not strong enough
to make the right decisions
instead I just keep stumbling

But I think I finally realized
when people say we all have a choice
that doesn't mean the choices are limitless
or that we all have the same options

Sometimes at first your scope is small
I still can't choose unconditional compassion
when my heart is sealed closed with anger
but I can make the decision to be mindful

I can witness myself from a few steps off
in a way I never was able to before
I can get curious about my intention
and question my automatic reactions

Sometimes I can stay silent and still
or even smile as I watch these impulses
swiftly rise, then subside and pass by
right now the changes I make are subtle

Mindfulness is a muscle that with effort
will provide a wider range of motion
new choices will arise naturally
if I am patient and keep practicing

Paradise Lost

It takes so long now to turn back the pages
to the time filled with most treasured memories
afraid to stop flipping back to them in case they fade
afraid to tarnish their edges too much with tears
and tender touches from oily fingertips

Current joy is caught up and compared
to the fiercest feelings of first experiences
forever falling short of what I'm hoping to find
can I never recapture that electric current
of overwhelming raw emotion?

Adolescent chemicals cannot be the only reason
for the deep, searing pleasures of the past
I'm unable to accept the possibility that
the container of my truest happiness has
already been capped off

How tiresome it is to live a life through
tiny sips from seasons long since passed
unreasonable to hope that they won't run dry
that stale taste begins to set in even now
as I pull from that deep well each day

I only pray that there is a rain still coming
to quench this burning thirst in my soul
fresh liquid delight to fill up my container
something to replace those precious days
that now feel like they happened to someone else