Limitless Knowledge

Despite my general pessimism about the state of the world currently, I have been truly grateful for the internet lately. How incredible is it that we can access unlimited information in seconds from wherever we are? I am able to research anything I choose. I can gain the same amount of knowledge in a few hours of typing, reading, and watching videos as it used to take a lifetime of diligent, full-time scholarship to acquire. I get to learn all day, every day. What an endless delight it is to have the world’s collection of knowledge at the tip of my fingers.

Of course there is also tons of misinformation out there as well. I can’t be certain everything I find online is accurate, peer-reviewed information, but if I put in just a little more effort I can still usually manage to narrow it down to the most credible sources. I can also purchase any book I like regardless of it’s availability in my local area. Not to mention, it’s not just about facts and data. I have access to all of the greatest artworks of mankind. I can listen to incredible music of any style or genre from any period in time as I please. I can experience more in an hour than someone a hundred years ago would have been able to experience through the course of their entire life.

The internet has become so commonplace, that I forget sometimes just how unbelievable it is. It’s something we’ve all learned to take for granted. But lately I can’t help but bask in the gratitude I feel for this wonderful privilege. I am truly humbled by the innumerable benefits that this technology provides me with. What a delight it is to live in a time where all this is possible.

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The Song

My heart sings for small towns
not for the crumbling, faded houses
or the hollow eyes that inhabit them
but for the spaces in between humanity
the thick undergrowth of untouched hillsides
the silence that surrounds you
as you emerge at the street's abrupt end

winding roads turning to dust
as they weave through valleys
and stitch the mountains together
no turns in sight as you faithfully follow
for miles to a singular destination
in the distant country, past oceans
made of tall grasses and grazing cattle

where the open sky is unhindered
by smog and skyscrapers
and you can feel yourself shrinking
beneath the infinity of distant stars
or cradled by the buoyant brushstrokes
of soft clouds in an endless canvas of blue
swallowed up, dissolved, and made whole again all at once

I've always found safety in the subtle symphony
of places far away from people
the silent prayer of bare feet against the warm earth
sunlight filtered through gently rustling leaves
the tender cadence of countless other lives
swelling and saturating every cell of my being
bowing down in reverence to this ancient rhythm

Separation from source
is the truest form of suffering
caged inside the arrogant design of human kind
cut off from the wind and light
set aside to sit in sterile cells
tangled up in selfish isolation
eating ourselves alive

No, I'd rather wade into the cool embrace
the filthy, glistening grandeur of the river
memorize the ever changing melody
of chirping birds and tiny insects
the healing buzz of their constant vibration
lapping at the shores of my truest self
reminding me of my part in the song

Fresh Memory

Crystalline structures of familiar chords 
take me on nostalgic tours
through the old forgotten caverns
of my heart's youthful years

Fresh citrus drops
that sting you with sweetness
refurbishing faded memories
until I feel transported

Through the violent veil of time
that contorts and distorts
the continuous current of energy
that is me

What harm is there
in having a snack 
of the sweet, supple story
stitched together in my soul

To allow myself to believe the fiction
that I've chosen to cherish
and buried deep beneath the bedrock
of my being

The bittersweet bite of memory
never bothers me
hot tears and catching breath
can still feel like home

Permanent pillars of my past
are supports that assure me
some things will never change
a perfect picture of stillness inside

That will not cease to create
prickles beneath my ribcage
or train me to build up a tolerance
to the days that trail behind

When I find nothing but fear before me
I can always run my fingers over
the smooth shape of those experiences
that are mine forever to carry

A natural resource for me to drink from
and subconsciously stitch together
into fresh dreams of you at night
to fill me again with gratitude and delicate devotion

Sonder

Sonder — noun. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own.

The sun was just beginning to set as we walked up to the big double doors of the small venue. March had carried spring in tow, threatening to blossom into an early summer. The soft, warm air was a balm to my soul. The rays of sunlight falling below the skyline did a lot to soothe my seemingly constant inner agitation.

Unlike most buildings that remain ever frigid with artificially cooled air, breaking through the threshold of security exposed a room that was even warmer than the outdoor air. So many bodies packed so tightly together, waiting in eager anticipation of the show that was about to begin any minute, produced a strong human scented heat.

Drinks in hand, we found our place behind the sound booth. I couldn’t help but glance again and again at the beautiful human at my side. What a joy to be here, with him. To see him smile, to hold his hand, as we waited together happily. The first band, one neither of us knew, was just beginning to set up.

As the first chords rang out through the theatre, the loosely packed crowd began to swell and tighten, threatening to suffocate me. I felt the hair on the back of my neck rise as my heart resisted this perceived danger and discomfort. A few deep breaths and it was all okay again. A swirling sentiment of togetherness and companionship swelled within me. These people are all here, filled with hope and happiness and most likely alcohol, just like me, and right now, in this moment, I love them all.

Without the distraction of songs that held personal meaning for me, there was a budding curiosity that took hold. What a beautiful thing to see this small opening band standing in the spot light, living their dream. How lovely it is that I get to be here to see it, to support it. That we are all here, this crowd that is my family for one sensational night. Tears tottered on the edge of my eyelids. Each song felt like a message being sung just to me, just for my partner and I, as we swayed gently together in the darkness.

Somehow I ended up liking the opening bands even more than the headliner. While the main band played, I found myself becoming listless and distracted. How long had we been here? How many more songs would be played? Just as I began to fidget and fret, I shifted my focus back to my new family, this crowd of perfect strangers. I was overcome with that strange love once again as I watched them in rapturous, animated, happiness. What might these songs mean to them? What story brought them to this band? What is the significance of this night in their distant, unknown lives?

I was overcome with the fascinating reality of the many lives that pass by me everyday unnoticed. The feeling of connection and disconnection tangling around me simultaneously. The mystery hidden behind the eyes of my fellow humans. The heart opening experience of reveling in the joy of others we do not, nor will we ever, truly know.

As we filed quickly out of the crowd and stumbled down the packed streets to the car, my heart felt fuller than it had in a long, long time. It held a precious lesson to itself in silence. There is always happiness if you’re willing to look for it. There is no difference between my own happiness and that of another. Sometimes it’s just as enjoyable, perhaps even more so, to share the pleasure of another, especially when we find ourselves struggling. Human connection is a strange, magical thing, and the other party may not even realize it’s happening.