This may seem obvious, but I had a realization the other day. I was watching people reacting to one of the dozens of hot-people dating shows that are on every streaming service now. Every single person on these shows has a “perfect” body. They are all conventionally attractive to the extreme. But when the YouTubers I was watching started to joke about people finding them (the YouTubers) attractive, a new thought dawned on me. I did find them attractive. I actually found the YouTubers more attractive than the “super sexy” people on the show.
I struggle a lot with the reality that I will never be as thin or beautiful as all of the images of women that are forced into my line of sight online and in the media every day. Some small part of me had accepted the false notion that no one could ever genuinely find me attractive or be satisfied by my appearance when they are also exposed to such perfection day in and day out. This silent, unconscious belief filled me with shame, frustration, and self-disgust.
Coming to realize that I, myself, was attracted to people outside of what society tells us is beautiful and desirable, allowed me to contemplate a different reality than the one I’d created inside my own head. Just because there are people who are ridiculously more attractive than me, doesn’t mean that people can’t also find me attractive, despite all my perceived flaws. I honestly found that idea hard to even entertain, until I realized the inherent truth of it within my own feelings about others.
Sometimes we are utterly blinded by our own bullshit. It can be difficult to open our minds to any alternative perspective. I don’t know if sharing this will matter at all, but hopefully maybe one person who reads this will benefit from it. You don’t have to be perfect to be loved. Not a single person I love is perfect. In fact, their imperfections are part of the reason I love them so dearly. You don’t have to be physically flawless to be hot. There are so many more factors that go into attraction than just physical appearance. So don’t be so hard on yourself. Don’t feel like you have to question the authenticity of the love and affection you receive in your life. It’s real. You are loved. And you are worthy of that love.