Summer settles in around the eaves of the houses a heavy heat that grows and expands Lush gardens swell creating a hopeful sea of green rough leaves reaching upward toward the sun The atmosphere buzzes the electric hum of birds and bugs the gentle breeze rustling through the leaves The cycle of the seasons reflected and repeated in each creature the metronome of moments that connect us all The misfortune of our clever distractions that separate us summer slips by unnoticed beneath the blue sky
Mindfulness is trusting that this moment is enough showing our appreciation for the gift of now Setting aside our doubts to delve deeper into the present seeing past the surface simplicity to be enveloped in sheer awe Each minute becomes magnified under the gaze of the focused mind purpose found in pondering a cloud's reflection in a puddle It's surprising what can fill your cup when you pay attention to the pouring of each moment into the next perfect stillness in motion
Obligated to fight for change I bared my bloodied heart inside my clenched fist I was always much better at biting off heads than biting my tongue Staying silent feels like defeat it feels like surrender is the same as giving permission having the privilege to turn my back and shut my eyes to the horror of a society sliding backwards Abandoning my sisters just because I am safe sounds egregious but how can I kill myself for a cause that can't be won I'll only make things worse Trying to make an impact from a place of violence and hate only serves to further salt the soil beneath our bruised and tired feet nothing good can be grown from actions fueled by rage It's best to hold back rather than adding to the viscous chaos my modest gift must be silence sitting quietly to quell the storms inside my own soul instead of spewing more poison Please forgive me for long ago losing faith in the human race for not having the power to protect anyone but myself
I turn away from the world to savor the last few moments of peace
The warm, thick water at the edge of the river guides me along the texture of the rocky shore the soft rhythm of the waves against my bare legs and feet sand sticks to me as I remerge through the trees along the road the humid air clings to my lungs in an oppressive cloud of heat storms slowly accumulating above the distant horizon ripe black raspberries beckon from the wild hillside bramble the heat is dissolved by cool droplets as I begin to collect my bounty enjoying my palmful of sweet fruit letting the rain soak my hair and paint dewy beads against my skin the swell of sweet music in my ears I laugh at the sheer delight of being alive overcome by gratitude for all my senses overwhelmed with love for this world savoring the childlike joy of simplicity each present moment can be populated with precious miracles like these may my mind remain still to witness my heart always open, ready to receive
the smallest dose of ancient medicine breaks down the walls I build around myself letting the world in once again a reminder of what is the tether of the present moment pulling me along through time the curiosity of the child inside waking to a wonderful world that's been here all along the sheer beauty of bird calls as I add my own joyous song the deep knowing of connection that binds me to all beings in this mysterious adventure of unlikely existence the realization that I am here a vessel to fill up with love and awe by witnessing the miracle of reality gratitude spills from my eyes in salty streams of sacred serenity thank you, thank you, thank you
What if this is just a game? would we still feel as attached to the arbitrary outcome and keep hacking away at ourselves in order to win What if we chose this avatar in another life we've forgotten was this path placed before us with loving, mindful intention a joyous challenge, a precious lesson Will we feel silly to wake up and realize we felt such urgency a desperate need to get it right in a form we can return to as much as we'd like
Abundance is a concept that feels foreign to me hoarding away all that I have fearful that it won't be enough cheating the system to add to my stash Trying to prepare for the daunting unknown just beyond tomorrow the world seems viscous and unworthy of my trust fate as an enemy not an ally But despite all the tragedy that pollutes this existence today is a day of celebration a recognition of the wealth I have been rewarded with in such unexpected ways A signal from the universe that I am being guided in the right direction at last a confirmation that I should keep listening to the small chirps of intuition that has laid dormant A reminder that my reality is an expression of my inner truth mental, spiritual, and emotional landscape made manifest in living color a reflection of the essence deep within this sacred vessel Fear can only overtake me when I give it permission to enshroud my soul with doubt and drown out the soft voice that whispers the deep wisdom housed within my heart Trusting in myself to know the correct path and following it confidently and without shame will always lead me to the light despite the useful suffering I encounter along the way Today I allow myself to taste the ripe nectar of the fruit cultivated through hopeful faith I embrace the gift of abundance bestowed upon me in this prescous moment
SSRIs make it hard to cry hard to feel anything fully at all sometimes they are necessary to blunt the unbearable fear a protective barrier against the world But walls meant to defend soon start to close in and cut off the true healing of experience and connection left cold and untouched by life It feels good to cry to release this stagnant energy that has been choking me but that familiar, impassable pit remains just behind my heart Now tears of joy and gratitude flow freely from my eyes but the painful feelings are still stuffed down and kept from breaking the surface They are too big and frightening to let myself feel, to move past and heal stifled deep inside they swell and stitch themselves together become congealed with past pain Threatening to consume me or tear my paper heart to pieces forever adding drops to that dark well discovering the ways I've learned to cope have been keeping me sick
Stepping back taking a moment to savor and celebrate the seemingly small but utterly transformative changes I have made Silencing the voice in my head that says not good enough long enough to recognize that at least now I can hear it I cannot ask for more in this very moment than the subtle awareness I've taken years to cultivate the bliss that breaks over me as I reflect on my progress The first step has been achieved I've made the space to witness chain reactions that were once overwhelmingly automatic I watch them with interest and deep curiosity I cannot always stop myself but just to see is a greater gift than I've ever expected to receive knowing what I need to do visualizing the path to peace is more than I had before I cannot expect to rush this process of compassion, patience, and healing I have a lifetime to play with, ponder, and polish this gentle, loving practice as it continues to unravel and reveal new complexities and insights each day I am so excited to see where this ancient knowledge of spiritual wellness will lead me as I stumble faithfully forward into my own mysterious future my heart overflows with gratitude for the lessons I have gathered So thankful for the wisdom passed down from strangers in foreign lands and long forgotten times for the outstretched hands of spirits guiding me from beyond the grave I will not squander their selfless generosity I will make my ancestors proud as I continue onward through the unknown with a recklessly radiant open heart and the fervent intention to heal not only myself, but the wounds left open by those who came before
Protect the Innocent 