There was a time when the world moved slow with the rounded loveliness of hiccupping days that dripped gently into the deep, reflective pool of life When rushing into the future was a sign of ill intent not the industrious, enviable attitude of an elite individual only a madman would pass up the daily spectacle of the setting sun The wind through the reeds served its own ends and it was an honor just to be a witness to this earth as she twirled and unfurled a routine of majestic mysteries Time is the tyrant that has torn us from true living a construct of man that manifests in ceaseless obligations a slight of hand that has convinced us it is objective and concrete A clock will not tell you that this moment is eternal the liquid nature of the kaleidoscope of now if forever transforming and becoming something new The radio static of the collective mind has gotten so loud it's all but drown out the music of the present moment for us all life has become the distant background noise of greater misery But the shackles of time can still be cast off it's not too late to emerge again into snow white infinity the devil's mill that man has set in motion can also be stopped
presence
Right Now
I have to remind myself how grateful I once was for everything I now take for granted when I first got this job I thought it was better than anything I could have imagined I can't forget a higher salary doesn't replace the rare human decency I've been given the days I used to long for community have been gathered dust in distant memory How elated I was at first, to have my own home with a leafy green yard on a lonely street to be able to walk to the waters that have always carried me Somehow it seems like finding ways to suffer now will spare me a future filled with pain but present pleasures cannot be postponed and stashed away for another day I won't allow fear to rob me of the moments already filled with soft comforts and simple joy the days ahead cannot diminish the delight of where I am right now
Stop Searching
The healing hum that reverberates through all the small, silent moments can become buried beneath the louder frequencies of frustration and forward motion The panicked pace of ungrounded grasping the breath that's stolen while being swept off your feet it can feel like dying to slow down, to surrender momentum in favor of savoring the soft rustling outside your window Finding peace can be counterintuitive stop flipping over rocks and just pause to feel the cool stone against your skin and hear the whispering stream gurgle past It's hard to accept that happiness is here when we've wasted so much time searching learning to laugh at ourselves like when we've been seeking the object that's been in our hand the whole time It's the simple things that will save us if we can sit with the fear that they won't be enough in the end they will
Tips If You Struggle with Staying Present
I’ve noticed that a lot of people, including myself, that have tried breathing exercises or mindfulness practices come away from them feeling as though they don’t work. For a while it was a mystery to me why some yoga classes or meditations felt so much more healing than others. I realized that the practices that weren’t able to recenter me were more like going through the motions rather than truly being present. I may have been meditating but my mind was wandering and/or my breath was short and shallow the entire time. Sometimes the internal experience does not mirror the outward manifestation of mindfulness practices.
Some days you’ll find you are just not able to focus as easily as other days. However, this does not mean that you shouldn’t try breath work or yoga or that these practices don’t provide any benefit. One thing I’ve found that helps me stay in the moment if I find myself struggling is imagining I’m writing a story. When the mind is very busy, stopping all together can feel impossible. Instead, try to describe the tiny sensations, sights, sounds, feelings that are happening around you that you normally wouldn’t pay attention to.
For example, say you are taking a quiet moment to connect with the earth. Rather than merely trying to force your mind into focusing on the breath, start writing a mental story as if you are trying to explain everything you are experiencing in that moment to someone else. Are your feet in the grass? What does that feel like? Where is the sun in the sky? Is there a breeze blowing? What sounds are there around you? Be as descriptive as possible. If you find it hard to keep your mind on this task as well, you can even bring a notebook and physically write it out on a sheet of paper.
When you start to put seemingly bland or uneventful moments into words, you realize just how much is actually going on even in stillness that you might not have noticed before. I always find this practice very soothing and pleasurable. Even if it feels like you have no time or your mind couldn’t possibly stop racing, set a timer for just 1-5 minutes. It doesn’t take long for your to settle the mind and body. You may even find you enjoy it so much that you make a little more time than you thought you’d be able to devote to this little mental, emotional, spiritual break. And if not, be grateful that you at least gave yourself one minute to rest. You deserve it.
Where Am I Trying To Go?
It’s hard to find a moment where I’m not rushing blindly into the next. As if there is some final destination that I’m frantic to reach. Without even realize it, I’ve spent half my life in fast forward. It just feels like the past and the future are somehow more tangible and quantifiable than the present moment ever can be. I’m afraid to rest here precisely because it is so fragile and fleeting. Fearful that if I live in this moment, I won’t have anything to show for it a few years from now. But focusing on an imaginary future can never serve me. The happiness I say I desire above all else, can only be found right here.
For someone who is so caught up in mental machinations, it’s extremely hard to settle into the simplicity of bodily sensation and experience. Language and logic cannot hold onto the slippery, ineffable value of being just as I am. The effort to try to make sense of everything pulls me out of every moment and places me in an artificial bubble of self-awareness, severed from the here and now unfolding before me. It feels foreign to forget myself in the soft feeling of fabric against sensitive skin. My mind has become so powerful and proficient at wrestling my other senses into stale submission. Finding myself suddenly surprised to scan my body and realize, once again, I’ve bitten my finger until its stinging and bleeding. How can I continuously be so cut off from the physical manifestation of me?
Never would I have imagined that one of my life’s greatest challenges could be participating in it. I’m much better at meticulous planning and pushing and pulling myself than planting my feet mindfully in front of me with every step. How bizarre it is to attempt to do nothing, and fail so reliably. Sitting on the bank of a river, utterly unable to keep myself from casting a line again and again. Not even noticing that I’ve been fishing, then suddenly coming back to reel my over eager hook back in for the thousandth time. Not even finishing setting my intention to be silent and settle into the stillness before realizing that damn bobber is already back on the surface of the water. The stamina of my persistence and patience needs to be built up, and that will take time. I’ve been strengthening my practice of falling into frustration these past 28 years. I must allow myself to surrender to the possibility it may take 28 years to rectify that habit.
It seemed simple and exciting when I first stumbled upon the ancient knowledge of yoga, mindfulness, and meditation and learned all that I truly desired was already mine. Little did I know that getting to a point where I was capable of granting myself permission to enjoy it would be a tremendously tedious and time-consuming trial. I must constantly remind myself that my repeatedly frustrated efforts, my failures, my relapses, my misdirections are all worth it. I want life to be easy, but I need it to be challenging so that I may learn and grow and develop into a being I can be proud of.
Every moment can be a celebration, a chance to be grateful, when I remember that I’ve already reached the destination I’ve been striving for. Every time I take a deep breath and notice the world around me is a victory. I won’t be discouraged by my many mistakes and missteps. They cannot spoil the joy contained within the rare moments where I manage to be fully present. Small successes still count. Whether I feel like I’m moving forward or backward, in the end I will always be right here. And right here is the only place I need to be.
Let It Be
Shedding the crackling layers of thought the busy hum inside that separates us from the splendid simplicity of the moment embracing boredom as a sacred rest Letting go of the desperate clinging the endless search for answers and meaning this life doesn't have to be anything besides exactly what it is as we breathe here now You're doing enough, you are enough whether or not you've made a masterpiece out of every second of your day sip in inner stillness with the stale air All tension comes from the stories we tell our insistence that we should be somewhere else when did it become so scary to nestle into silence to spend hours watching the rain come and go When did I begin to rely on the things outside myself to be a signal for if I'm doing okay, if I'm allowed to be happy hushing my internal guide to subscribe to other influences surrendering my deep knowing for doubt Even my sad days have their own worth it's the struggle to escape them that becomes suffering sitting with myself in the darkness is okay being a friend to this form instead of abandoning her I still don't know if unconditional love can be taught or if it's already there beneath all the noise but if this life is just spent searching and learning what a beautiful experience it will be regardless

Fear is Futile, the Future May Never Come
The future is always uncertain fear cannot solve anything instead it keeps you small trembling in your lowest frequency A protective shield repelling all positive energy from entering there is no way to escape pain avoidance only amplifies it How many things have I agonized over that never even came to pass? I've aged myself tenfold expending energy on the ugliest ideas of things that would never happen The art of living is learning to be present no future safety and comfort will matter if we can't even enjoy the peace we have now so let your mind be still, just exist All we can do is savor the moment everything else is only theoretical there is no use struggling with demons that we may never meet along our path Build resiliency for whatever may arrive by cultivating a garden of delicious experience that will satiate you as the future floods in you are alive, you are safe, just breathe
The Art of Being
The need to understand becomes the thief of sensation how many moments have been thrown away through analysis? The inability to understand certain forms of suffering intensifies and elongates time spent in those spaces Questioning simple joys steals the innocence of happiness do I really need a reason to feel buoyant and free? The intellect I've so prided myself with has been revealed to be a burden intelligence can sever the tether between body and spirit Simple animal satisfactions evaporated under a microscope intuition silenced from years of skepticism and scrutiny Allowing myself to merely exist has been the greatest challenge the most beautiful form of art is a life well-versed in letting go
Black Raspberry Rain
The warm, thick water at the edge of the river guides me along the texture of the rocky shore the soft rhythm of the waves against my bare legs and feet sand sticks to me as I reemerge through the trees along the road the humid air clings to my lungs in an oppressive cloud of heat storms slowly accumulating above the distant horizon ripe black raspberries beckon from the wild hillside bramble the heat is dissolved by cool droplets as I begin to collect my bounty enjoying my palmful of sweet fruit letting the rain soak my hair and paint dewy beads against my skin the swell of sweet music in my ears I laugh at the sheer delight of being alive overcome by gratitude for all my senses overwhelmed with love for this world savoring the childlike joy of simplicity each present moment can be populated with precious miracles like these may my mind remain still to witness my heart always open, ready to receive
Sit With It
Telling the difference between fear and danger is a difficult decision to make the subtle instinct of the body muddied water of the mind There is an urgency behind my thoughts that push me with such force pleading for immediate action assuring stillness means death The overwhelming power of internal pressure requires patience and tender attention the feral fear of the inner self takes time to trust and be subdued The illusion that a solution lies in the realm of thought another distraction designed to disconnect me further from the body's wisdom Avoiding my feelings is a full-time job so easy to forget that stopping signals soap bubble tensions to burst a glistening rainbow release right before my eyes Anxiety is a suitor that loves the chase ceasing to run is the only sure way to escape his harmful, hounding advances demonstrate your bravery by squeezing his hand say, "I'm afraid, but I won't look away"