Worthy of Worship

The healing caress of the natural world
is crowded out by skyscrapers and cement
the hum of rubber wheels on the highway
distracts from the mountains rising in the distance

A humbling sensation, a separation from ego
each time I open my backdoor to be once again
engulfed in the cooling exhale of green leaves
being reabsorbed into the breathing earth

How many millions are out there 
left untouched by this indefinable majesty
a terminal separation from divine source
crammed between steel beams

Reduced to fingering picture book images
of the places meant to be intimately known
the unbridled angst that bubbles beneath a species
ignorant of the scent of the rain hitting dry soil

Buying the lie that we've sold to ourselves of
not needed, even avoiding, this sacred connection
cut off from the great spirit we placed
on a shelf alongside philosophy books

The only God I know is right here within the
shifting forms of this forest teeming with life
I pray to the rolling clouds themselves
not some undetermined dimension beyond them

We preach about the fall from grace while simultaneously
recreating our exile from the garden every day
placing money in a bowl to praise a God
we rip up by the roots for the paper it's printed on

I don't have to wonder if a higher power hears my prayers
they are answered in each sunrise and every crashing wave
responses carried back to me on the evening breeze
a perfect goddess dressed in green outside my window

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The Satanic Temple

What comes to mind when you hear the word Satanist? Do you recoil? Does judgement and/or fear begin to bubble to the mind’s surface? Or do you chuckle and write Satanists off as just angsty, counter cultural, devil’s advocates (pun intended)? What does Satanism even mean? What do the people that consider themselves members of the Satanic Temple or Satanism in general even believe? Not many people seem to know or bother to find out.

I was introduced to Satanism by an old client of mine who was very dear to me, whom I still think of all the time. He identified as a Satanist and explained to me that this group does not actually believe in a literal “Satan.” It’s more about aligning themselves with the antithesis of Christianity. I was immediately interested to learn more. He lent me lots of fascinating books and really opened my eyes to the value of this alternative religion.

For years after coming to terms with what Satanism was, I thought that its primary benefit was to provide a sense of community and support for atheists and agnostic people. After all, part of the struggle to leave a religion can be the isolation you then find yourself in without having a place in the church amongst your family, friends, and neighbors. It also helped to keep alive the cathartic practices and rituals that humanity has partaken in throughout our history as a species.

Although I warmed up to the religion fairly quickly and easily, seeing how repulsed others were (even non-religious people, like myself, that believed in all the core values of it) made me wonder why they didn’t choose to identify themselves with a less inflammatory title. I personally love the reclaiming of the word Satanist and the way it makes religious people squirm. However, it still seemed counterproductive and unnecessarily isolating for the members in many ways.

Just yesterday, I began to fully realize the significance of holding firm in the term Satanism and specifically the church known as the Satanic Temple. I was delighted to learn that they had been granted recognition as a legitimate church and a 501(c) charitable organization with tax exempt status in 2019. Though there are certainly some problematic things about the man who founded the Satanic Temple, the mission and actions of the organization as a whole are inherently good in my opinion.

As the religious right in America slowly gains more and more traction in government, and insidiously encroaches on the rights of non-religious citizens, we are in desperate need of protection for the separation of church and state. The Satanic Temple is working to offer that protection and emphasize the hypocrisy of many Christians’ cry for “religious freedom.” The Satanic Temple organizes absolutely brilliant counter movements that shine a light on the ways Christianity often interprets freedom of religion as the freedom to push their religious beliefs onto other people.

For example the Satanic Temple was in the news for awhile due to a conflict about a ten commandments monument being erected at the Oklahoma State Capital. If one religion is going to be granted the right to display religious iconography on public grounds, every religion must be afforded that liberty. The Satanic Temple cleverly did not fight against the Christian monument. They simply donated one of their own, a statue of Baphomet. This promptly ended the discussion, and all religious monuments were banned from being placed at the capital, as is the correct response in a secular government.

Even more amazingly, I learned that the Satanic Temple has been fighting for women regarding the right to abortion. Unfortunately, regardless of the new threat of Roe v. Wade being overturned entirely, many places already enforce horrific laws restricting this right. These include forcing doctors to provide patients with scientifically inaccurate information before being able to offer them care. The Satanic Temple has objected to these unconstitutional laws by explaining that by pushing this “information” onto patients, it is violating their religious freedom as a Satanist. After all, one of their main tenets is: One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone.

For years it seems the left has been fighting a losing battle against the evangelical conservatives in this country. Fighting with logic and reason alone apparently does not work. Instead we must fight back on their terms, with our own, secular religion. I cannot express how utterly brilliant and effective I believe this innovative method to be. I have become so enamored with the idea and the Satanic Temple, that I am now seriously considering becoming a member myself. Either way, I will continue to sing their praises, push back against harmful stereotypes and misconceptions about the religion, and advocate for their political efforts. If you’re interested and would like to learn more, join the church, or donate to support their causes, you can find all the information you need on their website. I genuinely hope this unique movement continues to grow and fight for religious freedom, including and especially the freedom from religion that is so often overlooked. Hail Satan!

Spirituality

Spirituality is religion without shame
detaching from the dogma
to discover the true essence of the soul
a soul that's not sinful and soiled
but a small part of the grander perfection
that swirls throughout the cosmos 
and stitches the universe into one cohesive cloth
deconstructing the hierarchy 
propped up by people with impure intentions
a recognition of my inner light
in the eyes of all others
a curious innocence allowing everyone
to be their own guide, their own fractal of God energy
not offering ultimate, immutable answers
but instead offering peace and patience
in the shared presence of the unknowable
the loving awareness of uncertainty merged 
with a deep, yet inexpressible inner knowing
a humble surrender to our own unanswered prayers 

Beyond the Intellect

They gather like wolves on the boardwalk below. They’re howling for answers no wolf can know.

Mewithoutyou – Fox’s Dream of the Log Flume

I’ve been reading War & Peace these last few weeks. Pretty ironic considering the state of affairs in the world right now. Nonetheless, the passages I read last night were very insightful. One of my favorite characters, Pierre, is talking about God, religion, and spirituality with an old freemason. The conversation goes as follows:

“He is attained not through reason, but through living.”

“I don’t understand,” said Pierre, dismayed at the doubts surging up inside of him. Put off by the vagueness and weakness of the freemason’s arguments, he felt the dread of unbelief. “I don’t understand,” he said, “why human reason cannot attain the knowledge you speak of.”

“The highest wisdom and truth is like unto the purest liquid which we try to absorb into ourselves,” he said. “Can I receive that pure liquid into an impure vessel and judge of its purity? Only through the inner purification of myself can I bring the liquid received within me to some degree of purity.”

While I still don’t believe in the Christian God or the Bible, and have a general distaste for this particular expression of spirituality, I do think these words have a certain truth to them. I may not be religious, but in recent years I have come to consider myself a spiritual person. Hidden inside the horrors of the churches that have cropped up around the world in various forms, is a poignant, important truth. I don’t think it’s merely a coincidence that all forms of religion seem to share very similar threads. There is wisdom to be obtained there. I once held logic and intellect above all else, scoffing at the idea of faith. Now I think there is a place for both.

I used to believe that everything could be understood through science and reason. My experiences with psychedelics, more than anything else, have opened my mind to the idea that there are things our minds are just not capable of grasping. There are states and perspectives we cannot even conceive of. I’ve always been a curious person. As a child I had so many questions that seemed beyond answers. I contented myself on the idea that after I died, I could ask God. Then I would finally know everything and nothing would be a mystery to me. When I lost my faith, I also lost that comforting thought of finding answers one day. Now part of me thinks that far away hope might not be entirely off.

“You’ll die and all will end. You’ll die and know all, or cease asking.”

Will the new view I tentatively hold of death, I think it’s possible I may still have all the answers some day. When this fragmented consciousness disconnects from my mortal form, it will be submerged once again in the larger ocean of all that is. I want to believe that there is peace in that dissolution. That I will once again understand and remember all that I have forgotten in order to take part in this earthly existence. Yet, even this explanation isn’t exactly right. Part of me feels sure that whatever the real answers are, the full truth of reality is something that we simply cannot comprehend or conceptualize in the brains we are currently working with as humans. That is why no answer appears sufficient or correct, testable, or provable. There are no satisfactory answers that we can obtain in this life regarding those large existential questions of who am I, what is this, why am I here.

These questions and our endless, futile search for definitive answers to them have caused suffering throughout all of human history. We wrestle constantly with the gnawing ache to know things that cannot be known. This is were I believe that faith becomes a valuable asset to us. Faith can be twisted and used to manipulate the masses to bow to corrupt authorities, and for most of my life, this seemed like its sole purpose, to trick and take advantage of people. Now I find myself longing for a more abstract and vague faith. Not a faith in some supreme, all-knowing being. Not faith in the institutions of mankind. But a faith in the idea that there are things at work in the universe that I cannot comprehend.

This form of faith is a great comfort. It is a surrender. It is the acknowledgement that I do not understand, that I can never understand, and that that’s okay. I don’t have to keep struggling and suffering for these important answers. I won’t find them. I may not even be asking the right questions. There is such peace in trusting that everything is as it should be. That everything is going to be alright, even if you can’t fathom how. There is a reason, an explanation for all of this seemingly random chaos out there somewhere. We must accept that we are only working off of very limited, myopic understanding. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s all we’ve got to go by and we have to keep going despite not having the full picture.

In this way, faith is a necessary part of life for all of us, it is a constant practice, whether you consider yourself religious/spiritual or not. Faith is that energy inside of us, that yearning, that momentum that keeps us going despite all the pain, the suffering, the confusion, the doubt. It’s scary to relinquish control in favor of faith, but it is what we all must do sooner or later. Logic, reason, knowledge, and intellect can only take us so far. Certainly use them and value them. They are essential, important, wonderful tools. But also know that it’s okay to let go and surrender to the unknown, the unknowable too. It’s going to be okay, even if we can’t understand how. Everything is as it should be.

Connection and Awe

Growing up in Christian household, I never quite understood the reverence and awe people felt in the presence of religious iconography. My grandmother had crosses, rosaries, and paintings of Jesus all over her house, but I never fully understood why. Even in the Eastern religions which I am now more familiar with, I never quite grasped the purpose of the shrines people make with pictures of their gurus or other’s they admire and aspire to embody.

At the same time, I knew that similar rituals and symbols were very meaningful to all different types of religions all around the world. Many times I have been tempted to make my own little yoga shrine, but never have because I don’t know whose portrait I could possibly add to it. I don’t really have a guru or any particular religious or spiritual figures that inspire strong emotion in me. If anything, anyone that I could imagine adding would just make me feel awkwardness and embarrassment instead of admiration. It always felt like there was something important about this that I was missing out on though.

Finally the other day I was presented with an interesting alternative way to spark feelings of awe, connection, and wonder. The comparison was made between religious feelings and the feelings some of us get when we immerse ourselves in nature. Nature! Why hadn’t I thought of this before? The forest can be my church, the plants and animals my gurus and teachers. Now that creates meaningful emotion for me. Not the image of some imaginary demi-god or revered old man. I can’t believe I didn’t make the connection sooner.

Nature is what humbles me and fills me with wonder and awe, not human beings. Why would I admire a human being when I can admire mother earth instead? I don’t need a religion. I don’t need gods or gurus. All I need is the natural world all around me. Nature is what I honor and respect, what makes me feel connected, not mankind. Especially when all my life, humans have come off as proudly separate from and even above nature. Whereas I have never felt special or superior for being the species of animal that I am. In my eyes humans are more of an abomination than a miracle of nature.

I thought it was a beautiful idea to replace the ritual of church on Sundays with a weekly morning nature walk. I want to make more time for quiet reflection in the woods, alongside the river, or even just in my backyard. I want to meditate on the feelings that fill my heart when I watch the sun setting or listen to the soft cadence of rain. What could be more beautiful? What could be more awe inspiring than the miraculous mystery of this Earth? Instead of placing pictures of spiritual leaders up in my sacred spaces, I can add acorns, rocks, dried flowers, etc. These items fill me with much more joy.

I thought I’d share this idea with anyone that may also be interested in actively incorporating more reverence and awe in their life, but who doesn’t identify with any particular religion. Let me know if you decide to give this a try or if you have any other things you use to stir up feelings of connection and wonder.

Hiding Behind Religion

A few months ago, there was a child that came to my office to be interviewed. She was going to an extremely small private school, like 25 kids total in K-12 small. Like most private schools, this school was centered around a religious group. While she came to disclose sexual abuse, the female PRINCIPLE had grabbed her breasts insisting that she must be stuffing her bra, the other things she told me were just as disturbing, if not more so. This school was simply not a school by any stretch of the word. These kids were not being taught anything besides that everyone in public school was a Satanist and going to hell. This “school” was essentially a little cult. The worst part was that even though CPS reported our concerns to the state board of education, nothing has or will come of it. The school will not be investigated or shut down. The offending principle will not even be removed or prosecuted.

Ever since I met that poor, sweet girl that day, I’ve been thinking about that school. Thinking about it looming on a hillside in my very own town, brainwashing children, robbing them of an education. It makes me sick, but there is nothing that I can do. Even more disturbing, I know that this child’s story is not at all an isolated incident. How many other small private schools like this exist in the country? More than I’d like to know, I’m sure. But not only schools are using this religious excuse to shield them from the consequences they’d otherwise have to face for their atrocious actions.

The past few nights I’ve been watching Cults and Extreme Beliefs on Hulu. Even though I had heard about what goes on inside most of these organizations already, each episode exposed even more horrors I wasn’t aware of. From what I can tell, every single religious organization uses this status to get away with abusing children. Despite the majority of the country as well as local and federal authorities understanding the abuse taking place, nothing is being done about it.

I theorize that this is solely due to the government feeling hesitant to attack any religious sect. They fear negative publicity and the legal battleground that freedom of religion has created. The United States was founded on the idea that our citizens are free to practice any religion that they like. It seems obvious that it would only be a matter of time before people with nefarious motives would take advantage of that. What I once thought was an unfortunate side effect of isolated religious communities is now seeming more and more like the whole point behind them. The focus is child abuse, the method just happens to be through religion. Religion is an afterthought, cleverly used as a shroud to conceal these monsters from the law.

Not only am I becoming more and more informed about the way religion shields sexual predators, we see every day in the news how religion is also used as an excuse to endanger public health. Long before Covid-19 made it’s debut, churches were using their beliefs as a reason to not vaccinate their children. This has led to viruses once thought to have been totally eradicated in the developed world, to raise their ugly heads once again. Children are dying. They are being raped and beaten and brainwashed. All in the name of religious freedom.

At what point will the world start to realize that a parent’s rights cannot and should not overshadow the rights of their children? “Your personal liberty to swing your arm ends where my nose begins.” This has always been one of my favorite quotes. Yet it has never seemed to apply when it comes to children. Despite avowing to “protect our children,” in the eyes of the government, children still seem to be considered property. You’re allowed to hit them, you’re allowed to rob them of an education, and if you’re “religious” enough, you’re also allowed to rape them.

I understand the historical events that have created this fear of targeting different religions, but that fear cannot be allowed to result in religious organizations and leaders acting with impunity. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I don’t believe procreation is a “right.” Especially when you do not have the physical, mental, or emotional competence to raise and protect that child. How can it be your right to create a life of suffering for another who is helpless and at your mercy? I suppose I should be happy about how much progress we have made toward installing protections for children within the law. I realize in the past things were much worse. However, I cannot find any peace when I know that the progress we have made is not nearly enough, that children are still being subjected to unimaginable abuse each and every day.

Portraits From Social Work – Part 1: David

Even since I lost my last job doing social work with high risk, low income adults out in the community, I have missed the clients I used to see everyday. While I’m not sure if these people ever knew it themselves, the time I spent with them was much more meaningful to me than just trying to get a paycheck. This was the first time in my life that I was really able to get to know some interesting characters and bond with people older than me, with totally different and unique life experiences. Even though I was supposed to keep a professional distance, I simply couldn’t help holding a space for each of my clients in my heart. I believe these people are interesting to learn about in general, but I am also writing about them today to ensure that I can keep them with me even if they eventually fade from my memory. (I obviously won’t use their real names for confidentiality reasons.)

Part 1: David

David was my all time favorite client. I still dream of him often, and I wonder how he is doing on nearly a daily basis. I liked to describe him as my schizophrenic, satanist client. Usually people are shocked to discover that this was the client I became closest to. However, schizophrenia has fascinated me since youth and although I was afraid at first, I was eager to finally get to know a real person with this disorder.

Far from being the violent psychopath that most people picture when I say he’s a satanist suffering from schizophrenia, David was one of the kindest, gentlest people I’ve met. Even though he was in his early 50s, he still had an almost childlike quality about him. He inspired in me a motherly instinct. I recall once even looking up if you are allowed to adopt someone older than you on a whim with him in mind. I also recall discussing with David what kind of pet he might like if he got one. I was expecting a snake or tarantula or something along those lines. I wish I could have hugged him when instead he said he’d always wanted a rabbit. If David had a spirit animal it would definitely have been a rabbit.

One of the many things I learned from David is that Satanists do not believe in a literal Satan. It’s more of a reactionary stance taken against Christianity. It is spitting in the face of these churches, while acknowledging the community that comes with religion is valuable and worthwhile. Satanists are just atheists, and David was so happy that I was an atheist too. Unfortunately most of the people he had encountered in life (including his therapist) were religious nut jobs. His adoptive mother had been Catholic I believe and seemed to have hated him for abandoning his faith. He told me about a few occasions in his youth when she had discovered his Satanic stockpile and threw it all away. (Jokes on her. The house is his now and the walls are covered with pentagrams painted in red.)

David lived all alone in his house. He had no family left to speak of besides a brother that lived in another state and rarely communicated with him. He had no transportation either, besides me. So with nothing to fill his days, David lost himself in books. He loved to read. He lent me lots of his Satanist books along with a few of his favorites by Stephen King. It made me so happy to be able to discuss the contents with him after I was finished.

It truly breaks my heart to know that I will most likely never see or speak to this man again. I never even got to tell him goodbye. Part of me still wished I could write him a letter and at least explain the circumstances of my leaving. However, I have no right to do so. It would be unethical of me to reach out to any of my past clients now that I am not their case worker anymore, no matter how much I may want to do so. I just hope that somehow he knows that the bond we shared was real and it meant a lot to me.

I am happy about all I was able to do for David, primarily being a genuine friend to a lonely, isolated man, but also getting him a laptop and internet access to make him a little less isolated. I also know that I could have done much more. I wish that I had made more of an effort to address his hoarding behaviors. His house was an absolute mess, filled with bits of paper, receipts, scattered DVDs and books, and random garbage. I also wish that I would have fought to get him a different therapist at my work. The one he has been seeing for years was not doing him any favors. In fact, I would go so far as to say he was exacerbating his mental illness, by acting as though his schizophrenic hallucinations may have actually been revelations from God. No joke, he was that bad. Nothing they discussed in his sessions could be considered therapy by even the loosest of definitions. It bordered on criminal.

David had a lot of issues that he struggled with every day. He would tell me about his hallucinations of vengeful angels and violent demons. How the fear of a Hell he didn’t even believe in would sometimes make him try to get back into religion. He was sexually and physically abused as a young child. He was also abandoned and excluded by his peers and eventually even his family growing up. He was so terribly bullied at his school that he once brought a knife to protect himself and was subsequently expelled for it. David also seems to believe that he is a terrible, evil, irredeemable person even though that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Unlike a lot of my clients, David never tried to take advantage of me. He was always extremely polite and considerate. He once got bedbugs and would put his clothes in the dryer on high right before I came to get him to ensure that he wouldn’t transfer any to me. Even though I always said yes, he would still ask me every time before using snuff in my car. He would prefer to suffer in silence rather than inconvenience anyone. Despite all that he had to deal with, he never complained or made himself out to be a victim. He is a truly beautiful, gentle soul. I miss him so much, and I hope that he is doing alright and that he knows I cherish the times we spent together.

Midnight Mass

If you haven’t watched the new series, Midnight Mass, on Netflix, I highly recommend that you do so. My coworkers have been recommending it to me all week, and now I’m hooked. No lie, this show is captivating as hell. There are so many layers. My favorite part is the philosophical discussions and sermons that take place in every episode.

I find this show super interesting given my history with religion. And that’s the part I really wanna dig into today. I was raised religious, Methodist to be precise. I always enjoyed religion as a child. I liked singing in church and how nice our original pastor was. I liked believing there was order to the universe and that there was some all-powerful, all-loving God watching over me, taking care of me. However, when I abandoned my religion, I did so violently. I was so angry, at my parents, at churches, at the world, at a God I no longer believed in. I felt betrayed, manipulated, lied to. In the years that followed my transition to atheism, I was quite militantly against all religion. I hoped to destroy it once and for all. I hoped someday humanity would be liberated from these toxic ideas and organizations.

As that fiery passion of youth begins to fade within me, I no longer hold a torch for atheism. I still don’t believe in God, but being atheist isn’t such an important part of my identity anymore. I could care less if other people believe or not. I don’t have any interest or energy left for fighting a futile battle against religions that have existed for far longer than I have. Also, I’m sure that even if they were to disappear tomorrow people would just find new reasons and justifications for the awful things we do to one another, new things to fear, new ways to suffer.

After allowing that rage to cool within me for a few years, I am now able to look at religion through a completely new lens, a lens of fascination. What the hell is all of this? Where did these religions come from? Why do they all say the same things at their core? What core truths may be hidden amongst the convoluted writings of ancient times? How did we come to these truths as a species? So many questions that I no longer feel a visceral repulsion toward. I no longer feel threatened or afraid. I can look at these bizarre beliefs with a calm, open heart and a curious mind, while still standing firm in my own beliefs (which I’m sure are bizarre in their own way.)

There are two important realizations that Midnight Mass has presented me with. The first is what I mentioned earlier, that all religions (even non-religions) seem to believe a lot of the same things when you cut through all of the fluff. Two characters were having a conversation about death in the show, one religious, one an atheist. I was actually brought to tears by the beauty of what each said on the subject. Ultimately both believed the same thing: Death is a union with all there is, a dissolution of the self. Death is peace and love and never being alone again. An end to all suffering. What a beautiful thought. The details may be different, but the essence, the sentiment is the same. For some reason, I was so comforted by this idea. That no matter who you are or what you believe happens after you die, the consensus seems to be that it is nothing bad, nothing to fear. (Not that any of us can really know.)

The second thing Midnight Mass emphasized to me is that you can make religious texts say anything you want them to say. *Spoiler Alert* This show absolutely stunned me by connecting the ideas in the Bible with the mythology of vampires! The stunning part was just how easily these two things were able to be aligned. Drinking blood, eternal life, resurrection, etc. Even direct quotes from the bible can easily be read in this light. I thought this was a brilliant way to show that we can interpret “the word of God” to support whatever we like. But the power of perspective and interpretation are not confined to the pages of religious texts.

We see the same types of wildly different interpretations today in the media and even with scientific research. Regardless of what you set out to prove, you will find “credible” sources to back you up. And your opponents can just as easily find sources that say the opposite. The aspects of reality that once seemed so concrete are now becoming blurred at the edges, abstract, arbitrary, subjective. It’s kind of scary, but it’s also amazing to witness. There is a level of chaos and misunderstanding in our society today that I didn’t think possible.

I’m not quite sure what the overall theme or message of this post is exactly. I suppose I just wanted to share some of what’s been on my mind lately. I am grateful and humbled by the vast changes that have taken place within my own consciousness during the last decade. What a gift it is to be freed from that burden of fear and hatred toward such a huge part of the world around me. What a joy it is to have the peace of mind to explore what was once a trigger for me. I can’t wait to keep changing and exploring and learning and growing. There is never a dull moment in the fantastical, baffling world we live in.

Advocacy vs. Activism

The word “activism” is described as: the policy or action of using vigorous campaigning to bring about political or social change. “Advocacy” is defined in a slightly different way: public support for or recommendation of a particular cause or policy. While these may seem like the same thing at first, I would argue that they are very different. Here are my definitions:

• Activism: fighting against policies or practices that one considers harmful or unethical.

• Advocacy: fighting for individuals or communities affected by harmful policies or practices.

I consider both of these to be valuable, necessary contributions to the betterment of society. However, that doesn’t mean we are all suited for them. Some of us may be more capable of handling the consequences, whether they be physical, emotional, or mental, of activism more so than advocacy or vise versa. For example, maybe someone finds it easier to go to protests and lobby their government than personally supporting victims. Perhaps they have a lot of passion for a given issue, but it is more painful to see the end result of those affected. This would be someone better suited for activism. As an advocate, I find it easier to support and care for the individual than to fight against what has harmed them. Then of course there are those that can’t bear the weight of either one, and that’s perfectly fine too. In order to make the most of our energy and make the biggest impact, I think it’s important that we honor these personal differences.

Today I wanted to take the time to offer some suggestions for those of you, like me, that find your energy is best spent doing advocacy work instead of activism. First, I think it needs to be reiterated that both of these are amazing and much needed. Regardless of what or how often you contribute, know that your efforts matter. I’m only focusing on advocacy because I feel it is the lesser understood of these forms of social justice. For organization sake, I am going to break down my suggestions for advocacy by issue. I also want to stress that whatever you do, no matter how small, is something for the world to be grateful for. Maybe you feel you can’t be vegan yourself, but support the vegan movement. You can still donate to sanctuaries, share information, foster shelter animals, etc. Maybe you’re too afraid to leave a toxic religious organization, but you want to support others who are. You can still help in creative, even clandestine ways. So don’t be discouraged by anyone who says it’s not enough. However much you feel you are able to give is enough. And maybe you don’t feel like you have anything to give at all, even then, you can share these resources with others who might be able to offer more. That too is a great help.

1. Feminism

1. Volunteer Clinic Escort: I just recently discovered that this is something you can do at Planned Parenthood. Instead of arguing with misogynists online, trying to make a difference in the collective consciousness, why not make a guaranteed difference in at least one woman’s life? Rather than raise your voice to shout down the hateful, ignorant protesters outside these clinics, let your voice be the gentle one at a fearful woman’s side championing her onward and wiping away her tears.
2. Abortion Fund Donation: If you’re able to more easily give money than time, try donating to the National Network of Abortion Funds. Their mission is “to remove financial and logistical barriers to abortion access by centering people who have abortions and organizing at the intersections of racial, economic, and reproductive justice.” Often the women that most desperately need to terminate a pregnancy are the ones least able to afford or access services. The procedure itself can be expensive, but now with abortion rights being threatened in more and more states, there can be added fees such as out of state travel or hotel stays. Donating to these funds is an excellent way to make sure that we are helping the most vulnerable maintain bodily autonomy and their human rights.

2. Religious Freedom (Freedom from Religion)

1. Support Recovering From Religion: This organization offers people leaving religion dozens of resources to help them cope in this new phase of their life. It also offers supportive counseling for anyone who would like it. You can help by volunteering your time for this counseling and/or you can offer a monetary donation. Often when one leaves a very toxic religious group, it can be insanely difficult to adjust. Some churches completely cut you off from friends and family still involved with the church, leaving you with no support system at all. This is obviously an intimidation and manipulation tactic that organizations like Recovering From Religion help combat.

* I actually had a much more difficult time finding resources for this section than I imagined. Another great way for you to contribute would be by adding new resources. You might work to start a non profit or make your own fundraiser to support people leaving religion in various ways. Also if you know of any other organizations or sites offering help to people escaping from religious groups, leave them in the comments. I’m happy to update this post as often as needed to incorporate new resources.

3. Racism

1. Black Lives Matter: At this point, I’m sure I don’t need to explain what this group is to anyone. However, even after hearing so much about this movement in the news, this is the first time I actually went to their website. There are a lot of amazing resources and information on there. You can sign up for their newsletter to stay updated on information and events. You can volunteer your time by helping to report misinformation on social media. And of course you can donate or purchase merchandise to help the group financially.
2. Educate Yourself: One of the most important things that all of us can do is educate ourselves about the history of racism in our country. I think even one individual making an effort to absorb this knowledge is a step in the right direction. No matter how much I think I know about the oppression of black and brown people, it doesn’t take more than a few minutes of searching to find out about even more horrors. The more we know the better we will be able to support and show respect to our black friends and the black members of our community. Here is a list of resources you might find helpful in your pursuit for understanding. Just make sure that you are doing the work of educating yourself. Don’t burden you black friends/acquaintances with the job of educating you.
3. Support Black Creators: I learned just the other day about the way social media algorithms actively suppress the voices of black creators. They are less likely to be recommended or broadcasted on the platform, therefor much less likely to be visible. If you use social media, you could make an effort to follow more black and brown accounts. You can also make the conscious choice to seek out movies, shows, books, etc. that were made by black people. In this way, we are not only offering financial support, but broadening our perspectives by exposing ourselves to more diverse content.
   

4. Veganism

1. Vegan Outreach: This is one of my favorite vegan organizations. Founded in 1993, Vegan Outreach is a nonprofit organization working to end violence towards animals. They “seek a future when sentient animals are no longer exploited as commodities.” Their website offers a lot of different ways to get involved. You can join their vegan mentor program and give helpful advice to people just starting out of their vegan journey. You can assist them in offering vegan food to local communities during Covid-19. You can even do something as simple as reviewing vegan foods through an app called abillion. In doing so, the app will automatically donate $1 to Vegan Outreach for each review!
2. Make Vegan Art: What is more prevalent in today’s day and age than memes? Why not try your hand at creating some new catchy vegan slogans or images to share online? Currently this is the route my vegan advocacy is taking. There is no need to share the art you create on your personal accounts if you’re trying to avoid confrontation. You can simply publish them on your blog or even in chatrooms. Who knows? Maybe one will go viral and make a huge impact!
3. Donate to Sanctuaries: Farm animal sanctuaries are doing the important work of protecting animals that have been rescued. Obviously it takes a lot of money to house, feed, and care for these animals. Donations are a great way to ensure that they can keep doing so. You can even start your own fundraiser or volunteer at a sanctuary near you.
4. Foster an Animal: Veganism isn’t only about helping farmed animals. It’s just as important to do our part for the various other types of animals in shelters around the world. You can always donate to your local non-kill shelter, or offer to foster animals until they are able to be adopted.
5. Share Your Food/Recipes: This is a little bit trickier given the pandemic, but as long as you take the proper precautions, sharing your delicious vegan food with non-vegan friends and family can be a great way to bolster the vegan movement. One of the main things people fear about veganism is not knowing what they would be able to eat. Everyone loves good food. Even if sharing your recipes with others doesn’t make them go vegan, it can lessen that fear of the unknown. In addition, it may keep an animal off of their plate for at least one meal, which is a win in my book. Sharing my vegan creamer at work has led to our non-vegan intern switching to it at home!

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I hope that you’ve found these suggestions helpful and that you’ll give some of them a try. There are many ways to make a difference, so don’t get discouraged if activism is a bit too damaging for your mental health. You can always find new, creative, peaceful ways to help a cause that you are passionate about. Again, as I stated earlier, please let me know of any other resources you think I should add to any of the sections above. I would love to pack this post with as many options as possible to get people involved.

Wedding Bells

Little girls and young women depicted in movies and TV shows always seem to be planning and romanticizing the day that they will marry their true love. Personally, I’ve never seen this. Weddings were not something that my friends and I ever even mentioned growing up. Maybe they were secretly daydreaming about them, but I certainly never was. I spent most of my life being pretty indifferent to the idea of marriage. It was just something you did. I felt the same way about having children. I never had a longing or desire to have children, but when I was younger it didn’t seem like it was a choice. I assumed I’d have children one day because, once again, that’s just what people did.

As I got older and realized that I was free to craft my own unique life as an adult, I immediately dropped both of those traditional milestones. It was actually quite a relief to realize that I didn’t have to have children if I didn’t want to. Marriage was a bit more complicated though. While I didn’t fantasize about my wedding, I was constantly preoccupied with the thought of finding a loving partner to share my life with. Whether or not we got married didn’t matter. However, once I broke free of the indoctrination of religion, the word marriage left a sour taste in my mouth. It conjured images of a bully of a God, forcing my hand, demanding my life follow a certain order, fit a certain mold. Weddings, in my mind, were inextricably woven together with Christianity. Therefore, I wanted no part of either one. Not getting married became an act of rebellion and defiance that I took pride in.

Now that my passionate disgust with religion has largely subsided, the idea of marriage has once again presented itself to me for consideration. My boyfriend, surprisingly, seems much more intent on being married someday than I ever was. He was even engaged before his ex imploded the relationship. Even though we’ve only been dating for a few months, he’s already brought up song ideas for the first dance at our wedding. In the past, this would have sent me running for the hills. He’s already talking about getting married? Yikes. Strangely, with him, it just fills me with tender feelings and eager anticipation. I would actually love to marry him, if only to make him happy.

I haven’t mentioned any of this to him, mostly because I don’t want him to get too excited and go out and buy a ring. (Which I think he very well might, if he knew it wouldn’t scare me away.) But I have been indulging myself with silly daydreams about our wedding day. I’ve been wanting to explore my inner world and exercise my creativity by allowing myself to daydream more often. This seemed like the perfect, if not cliche, subject to start with. I’ve been having such a fun time looking at pictures of rings I might like. I thought today it might also be fun to collect some pictures of other aspects I’d like to include in my imaginary wedding.

For rings, I’ve always wanted something with rose gold. I also love the ones that fit together with the wedding band as a set, like my mother’s.

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I like the look of vintage/boho wedding dresses:

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I’d love a messy, braided updo for my hair:

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That’s about as far as I’ve gotten. But I’ve been having such a fun time playing around with the idea in my head. Personally, I still don’t care whether or not I ever get married, but it’s still nice to pretend. Plus I’d like to have some ideas in mind, in the event that I do get to make my sweet boyfriend happy with a wedding. Let me know what you think of my selections. Also did you daydream about weddings and marriage as a kid? Did your ideas about marriage change as you got older? I’d love to know what your thoughts on this subject are.