You Deserve to Rest

I have been feeling exceptionally tired and unmotivated these past few days. I am starting to think all the business I’ve been experiencing has finally burned me out. Thankfully I have a nice long holiday weekend coming up. I am even planning on taking a few extra days off to make it super juicy and relaxing. The only issue is that even though I am desperately needing it, I have a really hard time actually allowing myself to take breaks. It makes me so anxious and even makes me feel guilty at times.

I was watching an anime series last night and one of the characters was insisting that the others value the time they have for resting and to make sure they allow themselves to recover when they get the chance. I’ve been hearing similar sentiments a lot lately, especially online. In a society so focused on being as productive as possible in every moment, it can make resting seem like a waste of valuable time. Or even something you have to earn. But it isn’t a waste to rest. And you don’t need to do anything special to deserve it. We need to allow ourselves those slow, silent, calm moments. Resting is productive. It is essential care that we must give our bodies and minds. If you are on a long journey and break your leg, it is much more productive to rest and let it heal than try to continue and prevent your leg from ever getting better.

Even though logically I acknowledge all of these arguments, it is still hard for me to make time for resting. For example, I haven’t allowed myself to take a nap for years. Even though I have just gotten a new game for my Nintendo Switch that I paid a lot of money for, I can’t seem to allow myself any significant amount of time to sit down and actually play it. Even when I finish my to-do lists ahead of schedule, I end up tacking on more things instead of enjoying my free time.

This weekend I am going to try to actually schedule time for taking it easy. Apart from teaching yoga on Saturday morning, I am going to have five days off. I’m hoping that by planning a break for myself it will be easier for me to honor that time to myself. I want it to be something I can look forward to as I make my way through another hectic week. I’ll even plan some nice self care activities to treat myself with. One of which is going to be doing some LSD with my best friend and my sister. It has been far too long since I’ve tripped. A nice brain-reset is long overdue.

It seems like I am much better at giving advice than applying it to my own life. But I hope that even though I struggle to allow myself the rest I need, I hope that for those of you reading this that you will make time for it. You really do deserve to rest, to relax, to unwind. It isn’t a waste of time. It is an important act of self love that will benefit your physical and mental health tremendously. You are worth so much more than your productivity. You deserve to rest.

Photo by Min An on Pexels.com

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Doomsday Preppers

This may seem funny to a lot of people, but I genuinely respect the people that are currently stockpiling food, water, ammunition, etc. and otherwise preparing for the end of the world. There have always been people like this, and I can see why in the past it may have seemed crazy. But looking at the world in 2021, I don’t see why anyone is still expecting everything to turn out okay and continue on as normal indefinitely into the future. There is just no rational or logical reason to think that.

All of the science points towards an inevitable societal and environmental collapse happening within our lifetime. It is no longer just something for our children or grandchildren to worry about. We are going to experience catastrophic changes within a matter of decades. That may still seem like a lot of time to right our course to some people, but even if that was enough time (it isn’t) the fact is that we haven’t even started trying to change in any meaningful way. I fully expect to witness the end of the world, if not entirely then at least as we now know it.

This is something I’ve mentioned in passing in a few of my other posts. However, in those posts I was focusing more on the mental and emotional impact of feeling this way. The frustration and pain of not being believed or taken seriously by the majority of the population. That is its own separate issue. Today I wanted to focus on my personal inner conflict with where to go from here having accepting these things to be true.

I can understand to a certain extent why hardly anyone seems to accept this ultimate outcome for the planet and human life specifically. It is hard to deal with. It is scary. It leaves you feeling empty and hopeless a lot of the time. But I’ve never had the luxury of being able to avoid the hard facts of an issue. That’s part of the reason I became vegan even though it certainly would have been easier to keep my head in the sand. I just can’t deny reality the way a lot of people can. I don’t have those same defense mechanisms when it comes to avoiding the ugly truth. Maybe it would be better if I did. Maybe I’d be happier that way.

My problem isn’t whether or not to believe these things, it’s what to do with this overwhelming, devastating information. For a while I thought I might be able to influence change, to shift humanity into living in a way that would prevent this doomsday from happening. I pretty quickly realized that wasn’t going to happen. We simply don’t have enough time to break through the strong illusions of the human race, the greed, the selfishness, the idiocy quite frankly. Now I’ve switched over to contemplating how to mitigate these coming disasters for myself personally. How can I ensure my family and I suffer as minimally as possible?

I genuinely want to use however long I have left in peaceful, stable times to start preparing. My mind often drifts to strategies of stockpiling food and water, teaching myself basic first aid, studying the local plants, learning what can be eaten or used for medicine, how to purify water, how to start a fire, how to effectively grow crops, etc. The only reason that I haven’t actually started any of these endeavors is because the thought of why I need to is too painful. While all of these activities interest me and even seem fun to a certain extent, the underlying reason for them causes me too much grief for me to think about it for very long. Not to mention the anxiety I feel when I realize just how much I’ll need to learn. Part of me wonders if my time is better spent in a blissful state of self-induced ignorance. If I’d be happier overall spending these days trying to enjoy a normal life for as long as I’m able to. Rather than struggling now in order to make my future struggle somewhat easier.

After the events of this past year, these heavy thoughts have been weighing on my mind even more than usual. I think I’m finally ready to start gathering my resources. The amount I’d need to learn and do is overwhelming, but nevertheless I have to try. I’m going to do my best to have fun with it, to make a game out of it. To try to focus on the moment and the actions as I’m doing them rather than the reason behind those actions and the dismal, frightening, unpredictable future ahead.

This summer I am going to begin by stockpiling knowledge. I’m going to gather up books on all of these topics. I’m going to start trying to identify and memorize different useful plants in my area. I’m going to devote myself to my gardening. I’m going to buy some type of water filtration device. I’m going to teach myself basic survival skills. I may even buy a gun and spend some time doing target practice with my uncle. I no longer mind if anyone thinks this is funny or that I’m crazy for believing what I believe. My only hope is that by expressing these thoughts and feelings, others may be moved by my certainty and resolve. Many people in my life believe that I am extremely intelligent. I hope that eventually some of them may trust that intelligence enough to follow me, to listen to me, even if what I say is hard to hear.

Photo by Matthias Groeneveld on Pexels.com

Promoting Loving-Kindness & Mindfulness Instead of Veganism

When I first became vegan I was extremely motivated to push others to become vegan as well. I did this by sharing the unbelievable information that I had been exposing myself to. I shared videos, scholarly articles, statistics, quotes, and powerful personal statements about my transformation and new perspectives regarding animal agriculture and carnism. It is even the reason I began this blog. I was certain that if others only knew about the things I had learned that they would have no choice but to eliminate meat and dairy from their diets in order to alleviate their cognitive dissonance between being a good person and participating in the ending of innocent lives.

I quickly became disheartened and emotionally exhausted in this fight. I couldn’t believe the backlash I received. So many people felt attacked and angered by what I thought were straight forward facts. I got into argument after argument with people online desperately trying to change their minds or at least the minds of those reading the exchange. Yet, I never really felt as though I was getting anywhere even though some of my more open minded friends did contact me and tell me that they were inspired to transition to veganism because of me. I was continuously being eaten up inside by my own resentments and disgust with humanity for all the atrocities it refused to acknowledge.

As this strenuous and emotional effort began to overwhelm me, I had to reevaluate my actions in order to preserve my sanity and emotional wellbeing. I felt immense guilt about not putting enough energy into fighting for the animals of this earth that I dearly loved. I just didn’t know how I could make a difference on their behalf. I turned to working on myself through mindfulness and meditation. These practices have recently led me to a powerful realization.

Instead of directly encouraging others to accept that their current lifestyle includes cruelty and that they need to change, I’ve decided to take a different approach. I remember watching a video by Gary Yourofsky where he explained that it didn’t matter how aggressive or gentle you were with your activism. People would listen to you when they were ready. So how can we get others ready to listen?

I think that by promoting the practice of loving-kindness and meditation that inevitably veganism will follow. This approach now seems much more logical to me. No one wants to be told that the way they are currently living and have been living for their whole lives is wrong. It is a natural reaction to become defensive and try to justify ourselves in some way. I can still remember not long ago being on this side of the argument myself. If someone is ready to change they may listen. Otherwise you are only creating a wider division and more tension between these opposing perspectives.

I used to believe that the facts were all that were needed. But after so many conflicts I realized that you can find studies to backup whatever you wish to believe. It can be incredibly difficult to decipher which studies are funded by those with vested interests and which have flawed methodology, etc. So rather than trying to force change, I want to try something different.

I want to give people the tools they need to be strong enough and loving enough to make changes on their own. Unlike directly promoting veganism, encouraging others to practice loving kindness and mindfulness does not create the same violent reaction and need for defensive tactics. People can easily become interested in these practices for their innate ability to improve all of our lives. More and more people are discovering the benefits of mindfulness, yoga, and loving-kindness meditation. I believe that veganism is the natural response to the shift in consciousness these practices cultivate. It, at the very least, creates the right awareness to allow others to become ready to receive the message of veganism.

By promoting these ancient and beautiful heart opening exercises, I am able to contribute to the movement without destroying myself in the process. I hope that more vegans will begin to adopt this peaceful approach and accept that most people cannot be swayed by hard facts and aggression. Rather they are swayed by the example we all can set by living lives of tranquility and compassion. The energy you emit is the energy that you will receive back from the world around you. Let’s let go of our anger and anguish at the injustices others are perpetrating and instead embrace all that is with an attitude of acceptance and loving awareness. Let’s show others what our world can be if we all just open our hearts to the possibilities.

It is still hard for me at times when I begin to dwell on the immense amount of suffering our fellow earthlings are experiencing every day. But I don’t want to add more anger, despair, and aggression into our world. I want to fill the space around me with love and light, encouraging others to do the same.

The task before us to save our earth is daunting. But we cannot allow ourselves to dwell on the negative. We must continue to fill ourselves with hope, contentment, and gratitude. Others will reach this realization when they are ready. Let us help them prepare. Let us teach the world through example. We can only truly try to improve ourselves. And in this way we can change the world.

Sending you all my abundant love and encouragement. ♥