Paradise Lost

It takes so long now to turn back the pages
to the time filled with most treasured memories
afraid to stop flipping back to them in case they fade
afraid to tarnish their edges too much with tears
and tender touches from oily fingertips

Current joy is caught up and compared
to the fiercest feelings of first experiences
forever falling short of what I'm hoping to find
can I never recapture that electric current
of overwhelming raw emotion?

Adolescent chemicals cannot be the only reason
for the deep, searing pleasures of the past
I'm unable to accept the possibility that
the container of my truest happiness has
already been capped off

How tiresome it is to live a life through
tiny sips from seasons long since passed
unreasonable to hope that they won't run dry
that stale taste begins to set in even now
as I pull from that deep well each day

I only pray that there is a rain still coming
to quench this burning thirst in my soul
fresh liquid delight to fill up my container
something to replace those precious days
that now feel like they happened to someone else