Empathy & Activism

I learned a long time ago that screaming facts at people doesn’t result in them changing their beliefs or behavior. At a certain level, I get it. I don’t like to be told what to do or think either. However, I’d like to think that even if I didn’t like the way new information was presented to me, I’d have no choice but to accept the truth, especially if it was important.

I watched a video the other day discussing studies that have shown the best way to change someone’s mind, is listening to them, empathizing with their side, and NOT trying to change their mind. While I believe this is most likely accurate for most people, I struggle with it a lot.

On the issues I’m most passionate about, I don’t know how I could possibly do that. I truly feel no empathy for someone causing harm. I mean, I guess if I really sit down and consider all the reasons they do and believe the things they do, I feel empathy. But in the heat of the moment? Hell no. So then what? Am I supposed to fake it? That doesn’t feel right, and I don’t think I could if I wanted to. Imagine if the only way you could hope to stop child predators or murderers was to empathize with them. Seems like an impossible ask.

It’s not just as if you hold these beliefs and they’re leading to negative things. I’m talking about people that continue to cause direct harm to others every single day. And even after presenting them with that information, how am I supposed to not get angry when they refuse to change? How can I have empathy for someone who refuses to have empathy for others?

Not only that, showing them empathy and hearing them out will not result in a sudden shift in beliefs/behavior anyway. It just makes it more likely they’ll be open to your side and think about it. Maybe they’ll change 5 years from now. Maybe not.

What if we don’t have 5+ years to wait for these people to morally develop? How am I supposed to be okay with letting a child predator or a murderer continue on for even a moment with just the possibility they may change someday? No, they need to stop immediately. This very instant. I cannot tolerate anything else. I can’t empathize with people knowingly committing atrocities. I can’t condone violence. Not for a year, not for a day, not for a second.

Maybe feeling that way only hurts my cause. But regardless, I can’t help it. It grieves me to say that the best activism I seem to be capable of at the moment is keeping my mouth shut. Because if I try to engage with people on these issues, I know it is just pushing them farther away from my point, as infuriating as that may be.