Deep Green Days 

Unfolding flora
filling the air
with fresh oxygen
vitamin D jump start
my brain and make
me live again

Reading your aura
blue and purple
soft forest floor
spongy shades of green moss
things were good and
simple back then

What I was sure of
won’t return now
still pretending
gives me something to do
tell me you feel
it too, my friend

I Wish I Could Give Up 

I wish I could silence
this strange longing
smother it softly
with strong sure hands

This constant stirring
cannot continue
I’m choking on something
that will never be

I can’t keep begging
for a love that I don’t
even believe that I
could ever deserve

And resolving to settle
for a stale illusion
is something I’m simply
not capable of apparently

Every Spread, the Same Answer 

High priestess tells me
to be patient
but the pauses are
so painful

The spread said puppy love
can’t last but
did it mean theirs
or mine?

My last ditch distraction
an unpleasant prediction
no chance it could
be gainful

Inner wisdom always whispers
“it’s not the time for action”
unto this frustrated waiting
I find myself resigned

Final Failure 

You can’t expect me
to keep trying
traumas can compound

And every failure
stokes this fire
makes me worse somehow

They say you learn
from your mistakes but
not all knowledge is power

Reinforce my 
worst convictions
more bitter by the hour

The path forward
is to forfeit
what I want the most

Suffocate all
strong desire and
just give up the ghost

Courting Control 

Self improvement
special interest
at first it feels
so fun

Cronometer
daily tracking
shedding layers
in the sun

Delicious delusion
of casual control
just don’t take
it too far

Delicate courting
of dopamine drips
the effort of balancing
on that thin bar

Winter Amnesia 

Delicious elixir
of sensuous spring
replenish my bloodstream
remind me to live

So many winters
I still haven’t learned
darkness has an end date
just wait for the birds

Nervous system stirring
energies will rise
when the sun returns
I’m always surprised

Half of each year
I spend unconscious
I should move somewhere
the climate would stop this

Where I Came From 

Kaleidoscope glimmer
of iridescent grasses
sun sparkle ripple
of the rolling hills

Days swallowed up
by the soft crash
of limestone streams
along thin deer paths

Tangled bramble overgrowth
stinging prick, wicking blood
boots encased in thick mud
strategy in every step

Fruiting body fungi hide
on crumbled carcasses of
hollow fallen oak trees
submerged in mossy sleep

Ostrich fern fiddleheads
unfurling beneath dried leaves
the best trails aren’t
made for human beings

Blue evergreen hush
enveloped in sudden coolness
safe harbor, muffled silence
inside the fur tree forest